


Brain storm

by trickstersGambit



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Depression, Disabled Character, Galra!Keith, Gen, Long term ailments, Long term disability, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pseudo Science, Science Fiction, Secrets, Seizure Response Boyfriend??, Slow Burn, futuristic medical science speculation, self hate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2018-08-22 23:05:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 22,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8304674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trickstersGambit/pseuds/trickstersGambit
Summary: Lance managed for years without too many obvious issues. Those who needed to know, knew. Until it became a problem he thought he buried in his awkward early teen years.





	1. Prologue: Dirty little secret

**Author's Note:**

> Waiting for other people to write what you want doesn't work. When push comes to shove and you want it enough... Do it yourself.

The doctors said he was born with them. Defects. A 'freckle' in his brain, found in every MRI since the symptoms set in as an infant. A tonsil... Something... That sagged precariously into the hollow column of his spine, resulting in the occasional, weirdly uncomfortable pinch that doctors said wasn't too bad a problem. A little implant near the freckle and an adjustment to his vertebrae and Lance's seizures and blackouts faded from being a condition that would keep him from his dreams and ambitions to a minor inconvenience that required an occasional check up with a neurologist, and frequent visits to a physical therapist to combat the nerve and muscle damage long term medications and babying had caused him.

By the time he was ready to apply to the garrison he had a mostly clean bill of health and the feeling of being almost normal, if occasionally somewhat noodly and disoriented.

He was well aware how lucky he was to be accepted to flight school. He applied himself. He had a lot to make up for, still, from the days before the implant and its activation, but he was a determined, aggressively hard worker.

Keith, on the other hand, didn't seem to have to even try. Top marks, top times, top instructor approval. It came as naturally as breathing, as far as Lance knew.

He hated it. He hated it the same way he hated the mullet. He hated it the way he hated Keith's scores and the whispers about how gifted he was in the halls. He hated it in the same way he hated Keith's refusal to acknowledge him as a threat, from his position in first cargo.

He wasn't too torn up when Keith left and he FINALLY got promoted. No. THAT came when he zoned out in the simulator. In his defense, the fuzzed out feed caused the problem, though. The ONLY time he had problems was when he was exposed to the wrong kind of lights, and a damaged display was that sort of problem.

Of course it wasn't the only problem his crew had. The errors they made as a team masked his own failings pretty well. Failings his team didn't know about. Things they had no business knowing. They weren't enough of a problem to warrant the 'horrifying back story' talk.

That didn't mean it didn't sting (ok, sting was gentle. It burned. It sat in his throat like a hot coal waiting to turn into tears in a private moment set aside for self loathing that would never arrive) to hear Iverson launch into a bitchfit the minute they exited the simulator. Act like a team. Yeah. Sure. When Pidge took issue with Lance's directions and Hunk was still desperately praying for turf duty.

Still. When push came to shove, the commander was right. They needed to bond... And a night on the town was perfect for that.

Except a night on the town turned into a rescue mission, complete with a reuniting with his favorite mullet wearing jerk. A rescue mission that became a desperate escape into the desert that left his head reeling and a familiar build up of boneless dizzy that made him more determined to function.

And then they found Her.

The first anyone to know, outside the family.

The lion loomed over him, assessing him, weighing his... Everything. 

Whatever she came up with after the image of rainbows streaking behind robotic cats... Seemed to meet with approval... And for once he had an ally that came from something more than just blood. Someone who couldn't tell his secrets. Someone who could help compensate.

And for a while... It was enough. No one had to know. She helped hide it from the team. He wasn't a liability...

Too bad his luck couldn't last.


	2. Jet Pack Blues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the awesome response to the prologue the other day! I'm going to do my best to update regularly while I'm on rest! This fic isn't beta'd, because I'm terrible I'm sorry. Please feel free to let me know if you see glaring errors that I should fix.

The first time seizure control medication went down Lance's throat it was sharp and bitter. A tiny pill smaller than a baby's fingernail that tasted strong and made the five year old practically cry in one of his moms' arms. He hated the stuff. The taste never got better, either. Over the years the medications got progressively worse as the dosage was adjusted with every failure he and his doctor met with as they struggled to control a condition that worsened the more they tried to control it.

There were times he 'forgot' his medications for a week or two, just to see what it was like to be off them. His head fuzzed up almost immediately, thoughts failing to string together into anything coherent. It wasn't just a meandering thought process, or his thoughts jumping subjects. It was an absolute failure to form a complete thought. Words would form in his head, his mouth would open, and then the words were gone, replaced with stark confusion as he stared into the middle distance, jaw slack until someone touched him or shook him. The more horrifying instances found him jerking on the floor, or in the aftermath of an unsupervised event, curled up against a wall trying to use his jacket to hide the mess he'd made of his pants because his brain decided to forget how to function.

There were times when the medication, no matter how diligent he'd been with taking his pills, failed to stop the 'events' (as his neurologist sometimes politely referred to them) and Lance would come out of an unexpected seizure crying and screaming his frustration. The military didn't hire epileptic pilots. You couldn't even drive a CAR with epilepsy.

Even worse, no matter how on top of things he was with his medication, the longer things went on, the more difficult it was to walk a straight line, and sometimes, even holding a pencil was a challenge for him.

So when the opportunity came for the implant—still experimental, even then-- Lance took it. He looked his moms and grandpa in the eye and begged them to let him get the thing shoved into his brain (It was a lot more complicated than that, but he was desperate and really didn't care). Sure it meant he had to stay in the hospital and lose several months of school but after that? Well, he wouldn't be having the debilitating neurological storms that prevented his progress toward his dreams. School would be easy. Driving would be within his grasp. FLYING would be his. He'd be able to see the galaxy beyond their system with his own two eyes.

Not long after he turned eighteen, he realized that dream. The stars were beautiful, even if his first taste of them was through the view screens of a giant blue robotic lion, fleeing from a Galra battle cruiser... then fighting Galra ships... Those ships didn't take away from the sweet victory of being able to see the thing he'd had his heart set on since he was old enough to decide between cowboys and astronauts.

That didn't mean he wasn't scared.

At least he wasn't COMPLETELY alone, though. Blue was surprising comfort. She was a soothing balm to his anxiety as he felt the sudden, tell tale surge of dizziness that threatened to swallow him whole, held back by the little electrical regulator that had been tucked into his brain and under his scalp, in the heat of battle against the massive ship that came to attack Arus. He was generally aware of it at all times but the situation had a surge of sick fear and worry in his belly. The worry that it might shut down this far away from home and the doctors that monitored it had become a constant weight at the back of his thoughts since they left earth, coming together in a surge of fear as he considered his current fate. 

There were no neurologists capable of keeping up with his implant in space. He was completely on his own, in that matter.

Lance felt Blue's concern in his mind, and the deep, comforting rumble in his chest. The clear understanding of his anxieties and fears and the attempt to soothe them, as he followed the rest of the team's lead and joined together to become Voltron for the first time, focused on battle as a singular entity.

It was a rush of elation that surprised and delighted him, and he whooped in joy with the rest of the team as they rushed back into the castle afterward, ignoring the dizzy spell for once. He was looking forward to some food, and rest, comfortable with the knowledge that he could be a part of Voltron without anyone ever finding out he wasn't exactly... independent. He could do this!

–

He couldn't do this.  
The training exercises were fun, at first... 

As fun as being forced to run drills while being fired at could be.

But then there was the invisible maze.

The damned thing SHOCKED you when you walked into the walls. 

And Coran had the audacity to put KEITH in charge of his run. He couldn't trust Keith with his safety! Not when he had a neuro electrical problem, and an implant to protect. Sure enough he ran into the wall TWICE.

At least it was only a _slight_ shock, not the electricution he was expecting... Things seemed to go harder where anything Altean was concerned.

That didn't have anything on the next task.

The head gear reminded him sharply of an EEG rig. Sure it was wireless—newer ones were... He hadn't used the newer ones but he'd seen articles. It was hard not to keep up with news and research... But the sensors lining the inside of the piece seemed to be a fair approximation of what the rigs he grew up with were.

For a second he was taken back to a long hospital stay after a particularly violent seizure. Back to nodes being cemented to his scalp, lights flashing in his eyes, feet on a tread mill, sensors on his skin, the tang of disinfectant in the air, and the taste of hospital food on his tongue.

“--Now the most important part of Paladin training is being able to meld your minds and focus on one thing: Forming Voltron” Coran's voice rang out over the speakers after everyone settled the head pieces on.

So he wasn't that far off. They _were_ similar. Fear rose in his throats. The implant might be working, for now, but if the others found out he had the potential to be a liability...

 _They'll refuse to let me fly with them. They'll have to find a new blue paladin. And what if they can't? What if there's no one to pilot Blue? What if I'm the reason the Galra finally go to earth? The weak link that gets all our families killed..._ His heart wrenched tight as the thought of losing his family, his home... His whole WORLD.

A wave of homesickness washed over him, and guilt. He hadn't told his moms he was leaving. He hadn't said goodbye. He could die out there and his family would never know...

He tuned back into the drone of Coran's voice, and he pursed his lips, shifting his attention to the task at hand, joining in with the others in an attempt to form the robot in the communal mind's eye and the projection in front of them.

Pidge made frustrated noises across from him, and a glance across the holographic robot at the center of their little circle said he was having some trouble visualizing.

“PIDGE! Quit thinking about your girlfriend!” Damn. Better Pidge than him. He thought HE would be the weak link in this exercise but he was so SO glad to be wrong.

Well. Until Pidge threw the headgear to the ground after their second attempt. 

The day got worse before it got better. But it did get better... And it set the mood for the rest of his time as a paladin...

All the way up until the rescue mission, and the escape at the tail end of it. The sharp jolt of power that surged through his lion and tore a scream from his chest as fire ripped through his head and Blue spun out of control through the twisted worm hole.

 _I don't want to die..._ was the last thought on Lance's mind as he blacked out.

–

When he came to he was outside Blue, sprawled on the hard ground with something tucked under his head and neck. His head was throbbing, especially around the scar from the implant surgery. His mouth tasted coppery. _Great. Bit my tongue at some point. A plus way to start the day._

Lance was hard pressed to open his eyes, choosing instead to groan at existence as a general whole as he continued to assess the damage. Sore body, aching joints, bruises on his sides but nothing was broken, thankfully. Just very banged up. After a few moments he made the attempt to turn over and bury his face in whatever was pillowing his head.

“Nope. Bury me. I'm done. I'm one hundred percent done.”

“You're being a baby.” Keith's voice cut through the thick syrup that was his thought process.

 _Great. Keith._ Wait that was his outside voice. Fuck.

“Yeah. Great. You always have seizures or is that something new we're going to have to throw you in a healing pod for when we get home because I feel like that's something we would have noticed.”

“Fuck you and the horse high you... fuck.” He was too exhausted to try to piece together an insult or quip. Keith could wait. Sleep was more important.

“Lance. For fuck's sake. I need to know if you're alright.” The voice was closer to him than it had been earlier. Was Keith crouching?

Lance peeked up at him and sure enough... He was crouching. _Wow fuck you_

“Yeah, not when you can't even sit up. Not my kink.” 

_Oh god I said that out loud._

“Yeah. And that, too. Dude just accept that you don't have a filter right now and tell me what I can do to help.”

“Nothing. Literally nothing. Plan of action is t'lay here and die.”

“Not an option.” Keith huffed, his voice fading slightly as footsteps echoed... echoed?? Another peek from between his lashes, eyes sweeping over the area around him.

“Are we in a _cave_?” he tried to push himself up, arms shaking and giving out on him half way through. Well fuck that thought. 

“Yeah. It's a desert out there.” Keith's voice was dripping with disgust. “I had to shelter us in this cave system or we'd die out there. Practically no vegitation and I have NO idea if it's edible or not so we're stuck with Altean rations and lizard.”

“Joy. I miss Hunk even more now.” Lance groaned into the scratchy thing Keith had put under him.

“You and me both.” Keith huffed, crouching down again to offer a water packet. “You should drink this, though. You need it more than me. You've been mostly out since I found you and it's been thirty six hours since then. Kind of a long time to sleep.”

“Not even a record.” He lifted his head, squinting at the way Keith was holding the straw to his lips before taking a pull from said straw. “Mostly?”

“You seized a couple of times, and then there was the time where you woke up and thought I was your mom--”

Lance felt himself snort. “Which one?”

“What?”

“Which mom. 'Cause I can see where you resemble Angie a bit? But?”

“wait, you have more than one mom?”

“Yeah? Two moms total.” he shrugged, rolling to his side, peeking at Keith with a curious arch to his brows. “Why?” 

“You just... Never said anything about it?”

“It never came up. We don't really talk about family back at the castle so it just... y'know... never seemed important. None of it. We're at war, y'know?” Lance shrugged weakly, turning his attention to the far wall.

“Lance...” there was a tension in the syllable that the Blue Paladin recognized and curled up tighter, away from Keith. He knew what was coming. “That's fucking stupid.” 

Yeah. Yeah he was expecting that at some point. He kept his gaze solidly on the wall. He couldn't tell which bit of information was 'fucking stupid', but knowing how much Keith Did Not like to talk about his family or other people's he decided to assume it was medical. That and he just wasn't in the mood of a rehashing of childhood mom-related jeers. He didn't know if Keith was that kind of guy but he wasn't eager to find out.

“It wasn't a problem until now, ok? Everything was functioning. There wasn't any risk at all.” The words sounded flat, even to his own ears. “It should have stayed that way. “

“Yeah but it didn't, which tells me it might have fucked up on you when we were still at the castle and none of us would have known what was wrong unless we were watching you like hawks!” Keith snapped. “What if that happened while we were Voltron? What would that have done to the rest of us?”

“Well it's not something we have to worry about NOW is it?” He snapped back, shoving himself up on his elbows to glare at the sleep-blurred outline of the other paladin. “I don't see Shiro or Pidge or Hunk out here with us! And chances are you're going to go blabbing to them the minute we get back together and you'll have to find another paladin to take my place anyway so what the HELL does it matter now?”

Keith let out a frustrated snarl and shoved himself up and away from the argument, storming across the cave to the mouth and out into the heat. All at once, every last ounce of energy fled Lance's body and down into the fabric he went once more, with a quiet noise of dismissal.

He'd deal with Keith when he decided to come back to the cave. 

Maybe. 

After another nap. He felt like he'd just run a marathon wearing weights around his limbs... On top of the searing pain in his head. Yeah. He'd deal with the Keith situation after a nap. Maybe by the time he woke back up his head would hurt less...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some trouble figuring out where exactly to start and what I really wanted to do with this after I posted the first chapter the other day, super early in the morning. Then it hit me, like the groggy, topsy-turvy feeling that comes when I forget to take my meds.
> 
> Ready your bodies for angst and a slow burn.
> 
> If you're interested in my art, check out [my art tag on Tumblr](http://trickstersgambit.tumblr.com/tagged/teej_art/)


	3. Something Stupid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, this fic is updating once a month (between the 18th and the 21st) until I can financially afford to update more often. Right now I'm barely making ends meet so I have to focus on my patreon projects. For information on how to help make this update faster, send me a message or ask on [tumblr](http://trickstersgambit.tumblr.com). Also please _please_ read the notes this time! I want to make sure I clear up some things before I cause misconceptions. Enjoy the chapter though ;u;

The worm hole failing hit Keith hard in a different way. His fingers clenched the controls so tight he thought the skin at his knuckles would split, and he could have sworn the air was being ripped from his lungs by the hand of a giant. Worse was the fact that Red seemed to lock up once they spiraled out of the portal. Then all at once the shaking and snarl of friction on metal ended with a jarring crash.

“Ok. Ok I'm fine.” He panted to himself, looking around. The screens that served as windows to the outside world were dark. The only light came from emergency strips and the pallid aqua insets in his suit. Not enough light to gauge his status by, but he didn't FEEL hurt. Just panicked, and tight all over, like his skin had somehow shrunk in the wash. He needed to check himself out. He needed to check Red out. He didn't really have a choice, did he? 

Keith set the helmet to full coverage mode and made his way to the hatch, pulling the release.

The sight that met his eyes was a special brand of horrifying. It wasn't a war zone covered in blood, gore, and weaponry. It wasn't an ocean, which would have presented it's own horrors—Keith didn't exactly have the opportunity to learn to swim, given his history.

It was worse.

Unforgiving towers of red and orange, sun-baked rocks, dried packed dirt as far as the eye could see, all capped with the wavering evidence of radiating heat where the sun touched it. So far the only godsend he had was that the sun itself wasn't directly overhead.

“Another FUCKING desert.” he spat the words out, sneering at the scenery that was so disgustingly familiar to the hellscape he spent the year before becoming a member of Voltron. He stepped off the ramp, looking up at his lion, then to the rocky terrain that they'd tumbled through. 

“I'm sorry, Girl. That was a pretty rough entry... You deserve a rest” he patted the robotic lion's face before making an attempt at climbing her to assess the damage. His own bruises and bumps could wait until he figured out if he could help Red on his own or if he'd just have to do what he could and hand the job over to Pidge, Hunk, and Coran when (and a nasty voice in the back of his head corrected that to 'if') they got back.

He picked over the lion until the sun slid into the canyon they'd landed in, turning Red's armor into an expensive Paladin Frying Tray. Keith scrambled down off her with all the grace of a cat who'd been squirted with water. He grimaced, moving to hide under Red, hoping for the best. He didn't want to go too far away from her. Not even to try to find food or supplies. The scanners weren't up, he didn't have communications. For all he knew the castle was nearby and they would mount a rescue when it came clear that he wasn't getting up under his own power.

The heat only got worse as the sun lingered on it's path through the sky. Keith felt like he was boiling in his armor. He had no way of knowing if his chances were better in the armor or out of it, if the air was breathable, if he would live one way or the other.

He ripped off his helmet, gasping the slightly cooler air and... lived. So far the air didn't seem to be poisonous (a little voice in the back of his head that sounded suspiciously like Shiro was lecturing him on the lack of self preservation and care.)

“It looks like we're going to be here for a while, Girl.” He bit his lip and eyed the walls of the canyon, looking for an overhang or cave or something accessible of that nature that would allow him shelter from the heat of the day. There was a very slight, very small rumble at the back of his head and a gentle nudge in the direction of a splotch of dark along the bottom of the wall of their canyon. 

“Good to know you're at least a little bit here with me. Things would be pretty lonely without you.” He sighed, stretching out, climbing to his feet. He had to fetch a couple of things out of the cockpit, then he was off to judge the viability of the cave his lion had spotted for him with his jacket thrown over his head to protect his face and neck.

The dirt crunched under his feet, and the claws of what looked to be six legged, red-brown reptilian local fauna. They certainly weren't back on Earth, and he found that thought comforting. He didn't want to be trapped back at start without the people he'd come to think of as family. Especially not with Red not functioning at capacity. Even more so with the fact that he was pretty sure he was a fugitive back home, now, on top of being a wash out.

He huffed, rubbing the side of a bracer across his forehead to try to wick away the sweat. Yeah he could handle being in a not-earth desert. Maybe.

One of the lizard-things hissed at Keith and he did his best not to scramble away in fear, only jumping just a little before something in him had him snapping forward and hissing at the creature in return. Not that the action impressed the creature at all. It lunged at him and all at once Keith's bayard was out and sliding into the creature's throat and across. It was dead. By his hand.

'You fight like a Galra' echoed in his head as he stared down at what was apparently his kill and a chill shot down Keith's spine.

“Ok. I'm ok. I'm alright.” he promised himself, biting his lip before he dragged the thing along with him. No sense wasting it. And it wasn't all that vibrantly colored. It might not be a dangerous eat, so why not? The worst that could happen would be him dying and at the moment it didn't really seem like that much of a tragedy. “Anything's better than being stuck in a desert forever. Again. Even Coran's cooking.” He scrunched his face at the thought.

He eyed the thing thoughtfully, then squinted back at Red, dragging it back toward her, hissing as he felt the increased heat around her. Her amused notes in his head gave him pause and made him arch a judgmental brow at the lion. “Oh this is funny is it? Well guess what. YOU can't move right now so guess who's cooking breakfast.” He flopped the lizard onto her heated paw, quickly cutting into the thing to lay it out to cook in the sun. It wasn't pretty but it was food, and the fact that it smelled pretty damned good as it heated told him everything he needed to know about it. “You keep an eye on this. I'll be back when I'm not about to start baking with it.” He saluted the lion before slinking off to the cave she'd spotted, hunkering down for the day.

==

Things went on like that for a week. He'd work through the cool of the night on Red's communications and whatever he thought he could get away with working on without fucking her up, grab a lizard in the warming early hours, butcher it (in progressively neater, less wasteful fashion) then throw it up onto Red's panels to cook through the heat of the day while he rested in his cave, nibbling on stale ration bars and sipping sparingly at the water pouches he found hidden away in a panel in Red (Thank you Hunk).

The second day on the planet Keith cut himself on one of his nails and hissed in discomfort, then attacked them individually with his knife until they were almost to the quick—something that soon became a daily ritual, seriously how were they growing so fast? – Two days after that he started noticing discoloration on his skin, but ignored it. It seemed fairly consistent with bruising that was starting to heal so he didn't think much of it. The sixth day his eyes started watering when the sun started to rise.

Eight days into his stay on the planet he dubbed 'Hell' (not even affectionately) the comms flared to life. Keith couldn't hold back the delighted whoop that tore out of his chest. He might not have gotten Red up and running (and she definitely needed to be scrubbed down properly by now) but he HAD managed to get something working on his own and that had to count for something. The excitement rippled back to him through Red and he beamed at her.

“We might be going home soon, Girl. Better get your act together and be ready to go.” He teased, patting her control array before attempting to open a channel. The pings of a distress beacon screamed into the cockpit the second the channel was opened and Keith slapped his hands over his definitely not pointier than usual ears. “FUCK. What the hell?” He squinted, trying to turn on a screen to see if he could get details. One holographic screen flickered to life to his right and he twisted to peer at it before realizing he wasn't quite adept at reading Altean just yet. The information was more relevant to Pidge than it was to him.

There was an unnerved feeling in the back of his mind, and a growl of discomfort from his lion as an image of a slumped over blue paladin, and the sensation of heat and abrasion on skin. Keith felt his chest tighten as he surged out of the cockpit, almost falling on his ass as the sound of something crashing rocked through his chest and stole his breath.

“Lance.” his eyes turned toward the top of the canyon, looking for tell tale dust or a glow or ANYTHING that would tell him where to go to look for his teammate. There. To the south east. A plume of dust rose over the wall. He couldn't figure out how far away or if there was a way through the canyon and--

Part of the wall collapsed beyond Red. Thankfully nowhere near his hide out, but close enough to throw dust into the air and cause Keith to beat a hasty retreat to the cave, climbing back into his armor. He hadn't tried to use the jets yet, but he was counting on them to help him get to the other lion.

A few minutes later he was strapped back into the armor. The cave had kept it cool for him but who knew how long that would last. He made his way, jacket and knife under his arm, back down the canyon toward the rubble. It wasn't much but it gave him an idea of where to start looking. Keith clicked his tongue as he considered the rubble for a moment, tying his jacket around his waist and the knife into that. Lance would tease the crap out of him for that if he could see it... Once it was secure he put his boot down on the loosened rock and tested it.

It gave just enough to throw off his balance for a second and he gave the whole pile a distrustful look. One way or the other he was getting up that canyon wall, and the way that had the best potential was over the rubble.

He gave it another shot, testing another spot, reaching for a hand hold as he started up. It felt like it took hours. He was sweating and struggling in the armor and the sun wasn't even high yet. He just hoped he'd be able to get to Lance in time, that Blue would be in better shape than Red, that his teammate was alright...

It was Lance. Lance was always fine, wasn't he? 

The image of him after the crystal explosion flashed in Keith's mind and he gripped the rock in front of him to steady himself. No. No he wasn't always fine... But he had a good chance if he got to him fast. Well. He was assuming. 

Keith gritted his teeth, more determined than ever, surging over rock and rubble to get to the top of the canyon wall, slipping once or twice, fingers feeling rough and banged up by the time he reached the top of the rubble pile, but he'd made it.

Down at the bottom of the next canyon (How is there a next canyon? Is this whole damned place just canyons? Is there anything other than desert? FOCUS) was the familiar sight of the robot that started them all on this crazy mission. She was crouched, near as he could tell, her shield half buried in the rubble, but she seemed intact.

“Hey, Blue!” He called down, moving to a place that looked like it wouldn't give with a shift of the rocks. “Open up I'm coming down.”

Her eyes flashed but she didn't seem to make an effort to try to follow through.

“C'mon. Now's not the time to get testy or think on a request. I know Lance isn't alright. Red said so.” The hatch opened with what could only be described as intense reluctance, and Keith bounced down on his thrusters right through the hole in the shield she provided for him. “Right. Ok. Check on Lance time.” He patted her as he passed through the hatch and into the cockpit.

It was reassuring to see all the lights and systems running. At first glance anyone would have assumed that everything was fine, until they noticed the figure slumped in the chair behind the screens.

“Lance?” Keith inched forward, watching Lance for physical response to go with the groan that made his ears feel like they were twitching (and they definitely weren't. Nope. His ears didn't do that) but Lance didn't move beyond a twitch.

The groan said he was alive, though, so he could relax just a little bit. Keith moved around the chair, looking down at the other Paladin.

Lance had one hand on the controls, the other rested in his lap, palm up. His torso was slumped across one of the chair's arms in a way that looked like it was making it hard to breathe, between the cut of his armor into his chest and the bend of his head and neck.

 _That can't be comfortable._ Keith frowned, leaning over Lance to try to get a better look at his face. A chill went up his spine, and a feeling of dread settled into his belly. He wasn't sure WHAT he was suddenly afraid of, but he was DEFINITELY afraid.

Suddenly Lance's body spasmed and jerked, and Keith cringed away, trying not to panic. 

“Holy shit. That's a seizure. Holyfuck. OK. Ok Kogane. Think. What do you know about seizures?” He tried to make himself think, brows furrowed, watching Lance as the event settled down and he fell back into his struggle to breathe normally. “Ok. Okay this is not alright...”

Keith reached forward, hooking his arms under Lance's arms and around his chest, hauling him up. Somehow it slipped his mind that Lance was significantly taller than him and he nearly overbalanced, nearly missing the sudden whir of Blue's chair moving out of their way. 

“Ok. You know what's up.” He frowned, glancing up at the ceiling before moving to lay lance on the ground where the other paladins had stood when they first went on their adventure. “You just lay here and I'll take care of the rest.” He seated himself in Blue's chair, clearing his throat. “I hope you don't mind me piloting you. We have to get you out of this crater and your Paladin is down for the count.”

The chair slid forward up to the controls in what Keith could only assume was consent. He glanced back at Lance, then through the forward screens, starting the thrusters to send Blue up out of the rubble. 

“Nice and easy, we don't want to jostle him.”

It was a few minutes before he managed to get Blue into the canyon beside his own lion. He could feel Red's amusement at what he assumed was Blue's horror at Red's state. “Yeah we're working it. She looks like a wreck but I'm trying to put her back together.”

There was another shot of terror through his chest, and a couple of minutes later, he heard the sound of thrashing armor on metal, and he cringed, sliding out of the chair to go roll Lance onto his side.

“Ok. Ok two seizures could mean trauma... It could mean anything but we never saw him have seizures before so maybe trauma is the most likely...” He waited until Lance had been settled for a few minutes before rolling him back onto his back, crawling around to his shoulders, dragging him back down to the exit ramp. “Fuck you're heavy...”

Down the ramp, down the canyon, past the curious looking lizards that may or may not soon be food.

“Don't worry. I'm not going to eat this one... You though” He set his eyes on a specific lizard as he backed them into his cave. 

==

Lance woke up. He woke up and the cause of his seizures wasn't what Keith thought it was. Ok maybe a little. 

'Everything was functioning'. Did that mean an implant? He'd heard about them but he was pretty sure they required maintenance?

Guilt filled him. He could have sent them all back to the garrison and they would have been fine. Lance would still be getting the medical attention he needed. Pidge wouldn't be able to look for their family but their mother wouldn't be completely alone. Hunk would only have Lance's piloting skills to be afraid of.

It was Lance's situation that hit him the hardest, though... He knew next to nothing about seizures or epilepsy or how to help, and he certainly wasn't a social enough people person to just ask 'how do I help'. Even worse he'd gotten angry and stormed out. He hadn't stopped to consider that Lance might still need help. He'd just left.

And he couldn't just go back in. That wasn't going to help either of them. 

He stormed up to Blue, walking through the gap in the shield she'd extended over Red to let him in. Moments later he stormed back out with an arm load of supplies. Emergency blankets, rations, water, soon dumped against a wall in the cave, storming back out on his supply run, ignoring Lance's questioning noises as he sought out a fresh supply of meat.

A while later he returned, having butchered the pair of lizards he caught, seeking an escape from the rising heat.

“Are you going to keep ignoring me?” 

_Yes, because I'm pissed enough to say the wrong thing and I don't want to fuck up that way._

“You can't ignore me forever, Keith.”

_You don't know me as well as you think you know me._

“Why is this bothering you so badly?”

“Because you could have been seriously hurt and no one would have known what the problem was!” he snapped, hunkering down next to the supplies.

“I was fine. I was almost completely controlled. I hadn't even had a noticeable seizure in years!”

“NOTICABLE?”

“Well, yeah. There's a ton of different kinds of seizures and I have like... three different ones. I had it down to the one that reads like ADD, but my implant's... seriously fucked up...”

“You still should have told us! If something like this happened in battle we wouldn't have known how to help you!”

“WHY are you so mad?”

“Because I don't know if you can wrap your head around this or not but I DON'T hate you, and we all want EVERYONE on the team to be safe!”

Lance let out a nearly silent 'oh'

“Yeah, Oh. Fuck. You're more socially inept than I am. How is that even possible?”

“Look, if people knew I was an epilepsy patient they'd NEVER let me near a simulator. I was cleared by a doctor so long as my implant was maintained-”

“And how would you keep it maintained in SPACE”

“Well I wasn't planning on going into space for years on end!”

“You were trying to be a pilot! You've admitted to Shiro being your hero. Didn't you think you were going to be in space for long enough for it to be a problem?” He snapped.

“Yeah. NO. I wasn't. Me being a fighter pilot was a fluke. I wasn't expecting it to ever actually get it. Then you left and they gave it to me, and believe me they never let me forget that the only reason I got to even BE in that program was because you blew up and flounced off!”

“I didn't flounce!”

“You flounced. You totally flounced-”

“Lance...”

“You got upset and left and opened up a spot for me.”

“It's more complicated than that!” he snarled, baring his teeth. Lance was trying to distract him. Being his usual irritating self...

“Woah. Did you get dental work done?” Lance surged up from his spot on the floor, wobbling a bit before making his way over to the Red Paladin, eyes fixated on his mouth.

“What? Dude! Stop staring at my mouth it's creeping me out!”

“Seriously. Your teeth... Have you always had hella pointy canines or is that a recent development... Did you become a vampire??”

“Now you're being annoying.”

“You say that but all I can hear is 'I've been eating some strange alien food now I'm having a weird cool reaction to it'.”

“You're obnoxious.” Keith huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, staring out at the mouth of the cave. 

“Dude, are you crying?” Why was Lance staring at him? It was getting uncomfortable. But his eyes WERE watering.

“No. The light's just hurting my eyes” 

“You sound like an upset kid.”

Lance was sitting in front of him, not even three feet away. Keith felt awkward from all the attention, cringing away into the wall, knees pulling up into his chest. 

All at once there was the now familiar feeling of dread. Keith shot out from his curl, hauling his jacket off and rolling it into some semblance of a pillow that he dropped on the ground, close enough to where he thought Lance's head might land. _If he listens to me_

“Lay down.” Keith snapped, crouched down, face level with Lance's as he pointed to the jacket-pillow.

“Dude I literally just woke up...”

“Lance. Lay down. Now.”

“WHY?”

“Stop asking why and just trust me!” he pulled Lance from his sit to a lay on the ground, making sure he was safely on his side.

“I don't get it. I'm--” And there it was. It was happening again. Just as terrifying as the first time he watched it. 

“We're having a talk about this when you're recovered a bit more” He scowled, staying with Lance until the seizure was over, only leaving to retrieve their lizard food when he was sure Lance was alright, watered and resting.

He was seriously hoping the castle found them soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You wouldn't believe it but when I was putting together the concept for the fic I actually asked my roommate about whether or not I should include Galra Keith, to which his answer was 'Duh'. From there it became 'well how does that effect the story'. I wanted to give Lance a new tool to compensate for the one I took away, and I wanted to build a relationship between Keith and Lance, so I thought about ways that Keith could be effected by or effect Lance's condition. I actually did immediately think 'seizure response boyfriend'. No shit.
> 
> Most animals (and even humans, believe it or not) can recognize a seizure coming on but it's getting them to care and do something about it that's the trick. They have to have the right temperament for helping people to begin with and they have to be trained to a person's specific clue ins. A new pet isn't going to recognize a seizure immediately (it took Keith a few times to make the connection between the sensation and the event), just like a new friend isn't going to know what's going on. With animals, though, it's thought they pick up on body language or electrical signals (Did you know your body puts off electricity?) and I thought “hey, Galra are kind of animal like, and they have a connection to quintesence and who's to say disrupted electrical signals don't have anything to do with quintesence?”
> 
> So that's where we are.
> 
> A little on the implant though. Currently seizure control implants DO exist, but doctors and even the company that manufactures them all say that a patient shouldn't currently expect complete control of their seizures, and people who receive the implant will still need to take medication. They're strictly for people who's seizures aren't controlled with medication alone, and even with the implant and medication you might not achieve full control. That's where we are CURRENTLY. That's a recent development. It's HUGE.
> 
> As for Lance's implant, I'm operating on the assumption that VLD takes place sometime in the future, and who's to say neurological science hasn't advanced enough for implants to have near complete control. It's not current medical science, it's hope for medical science... Because who likes taking ten pills a day just to have a seizure anyway when stress runs high.
> 
> If you like what I'm writing or you have questions for me, please feel encouraged to leave a comment or send me an ask on my [tumblr](http://trickstersgambit.tumblr.com). Just as a note for you guys, I'm in a bit of a financial bind right now so as I said in the top notes, I'm only updating once a month. I can't justify doing more here than I'm doing on Patreon, or for commissions. I'm sorry ;u; Thank you to everyone who's liked, commented, book marked and subscribed. All of that means a whole lot to me. I'll try to reply to everything that comes in my inbox. You guys rock!


	4. Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or Recovery and discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is in reference to a Never Shout Never song that I tend to spam my fiancee with sometimes because I'm hopeless. More at the end.

When Lance woke up again he was cushioned by Keith's jacket, again. Emergency blankets had been pulled over him, tucked in around the sides, hindering his attempt to sit up. Every pump of blood in him sent searing pain throughout his skull and he felt like it was going to burst, and over the top of the throb rested the flurry of cool, concerned impressions from the ever present Blue.

He allowed himself the indignity of a solid cry, curled up on his side under the blanket pile Keith had given him.

Keith.

He'd seen. He knew. Beyond a shadow of a doubt. Lance was embarrassed and horrified, covering his face with his hands. Did Keith think less of him? How had he known it was coming? How was he going to explain this to the rest of the team? It wasn't exactly something he could hide.

He heard the clack of boots on the ground, coming in from the entrance to the cave. A soft noise, the tone of which Lance couldn't readily identify. Keith was in with him. Of course. Lance struggled to get himself under control, rubbing his face on the blankets before rolling Keiths' direction.

“So I figure” Keith tried uncertainly “You probably have a sore head by now...”

“You have no idea.” Lance groaned softly.

“You'd be surprised...” Keith muttered, but didn't elaborate.

The red paladin crouched beside the blue, a blister pack of pills and a bottle of water in his hands. Somehow that was the most beautiful thing Lance had seen in awhile. He sat up, red faced, covered in snot and tears, limbs shaking from the stress he was under. His eyes followed Keith's hands with their too-long nails piercing the blisters and popping the pills out.

Keith's face was scrunched in concentration. His nails (claws, part of his mind corrected, not for the first time, and likely not for the last) were sharp and could easily damage the pills he was trying to handle. He managed to get two into his gloved palm, offering them to his teammate, tipping them into Lance's outstretched palm. He followed the trail of the ashen faced paladin's hand as he dumped the pills into his mouth and quickly washed them down with the bottle he snatched out of Keith's hand.

“So” Lance tried, keeping his voice as soft as he could. “Two things... First: No idea what you mean by 'you'd be surprised' and I expect you to elaborate on that... second: Did you hit a growth spurt or something? You're... bigger.”

Keith stared at Lance for a moment, then looked down at himself, then back at Lance.

“No?”

“Dude you totally have. Help me get up off the ground I'll prove it.”

“You need to be resting.”

“Are you afraid of finding out you hit a growth spurt? Because that's got to be the weirdest thing I've ever heard anyone being afraid of. I mean it's not like you've grown too much for your jacket or pants yet so--”

Keith heaved a sigh, shoving himself to his feet, holding his arms out to help Lance up. He dug his heels into the ground when Lance used him to haul himself up, threatening to bowl the both of them over.

Soon enough Lance was on his feet, swaying slightly, clinging to Keith to try to maintain an upright position.

“You look like you're going to throw up.”

“Shut up, Mullet. I'm fine. Just gimmy a minute.” He huffed, eyes focused on the ground as he tried to pull himself together. Soon enough he raised his head from the floor to look at his companion, straightening himself out a bit with a grin on his lips.

“You totally grew.” He moved his flattened hand between their brows in what he hoped was a level fashion. “When we got to Arus you were a total shrimp. You're at least close to my height!”

“Growth spurts are still possible past seventeen years old you know. Humans can continue to grow nearly to thirty.” Keith felt a little bit defensive. He wasn't quite sure why. A part of him said that it was suspect, combined with all the other weird things happening to him lately. He tried to ignore that part.

“Yeah! Which is awesome. Pidge is the shrimpiest shrimp on the team now!”

“I... Lance. Pidge is fourteen. They still have time to pick up height. On top of that they're younger so they have more growth time, and the artificial gravity in the castle isn't anything like the actual gravity on Earth. They're probably going to shoot up a lot.” Keith huffed. “Probably taller than you.”

“I doubt it. I'm pretty sure the whole family runs on the short side.”

“How would you even know that?” He huffed, poking Lance's side to get him to buckle to the ground—which worked. Lance gave him a dirty look as he settled back on the ground, hauling the blankets around himself.

“I read all the details about the Kerberos mission when it was announced. Memorized the whole team's stats. Shiro was my hero...” He was blushing, wrapping his hands around the water bottle, focusing hard on it to avoid looking up at Keith. “I mean he still is but he's REAL now, you know? Not just someone who came to schools and looked good on TV, you know?”

“Wouldn't know.” Keith shrugged. “Different relationship.” he slumped back down to the ground, too, looking up at the ceiling.

“Oh yeah... You guys have a _history_.”

“Don't make it gross, Lance.”

“Ok so spill. What's it...?”

“He's like a brother to me... Fostered.”

“Fostered?” He stared at Keith in confusion.

“Yeah. His parents took me in when I was like... ten.” He shrugged. “My grandpa passed and my folks were gone a long time before that so...”

“Woah.” Lance stared at him, eyes roving over him like the information had somehow altered his visage as he decided to let the previous subject drop. For now. “...Hey did you know the whites of your eyes are kind of like... not white?”

Keith almost flinched, leveling his gaze on Lances in a way he hoped didn't look defensive.

“Everyone's eye-whites are off-white. Blood vessels exist, Lance.”

“Yeah but those make it look kinda pink. Yours look kind of...” He squinted, leaning in, peering harder at Keith like he was trying to figure out a puzzle. “...Kind of yellow? It looks weird. Like your irises are a really nice purple but your whites are yellow? Are you ok? I mean is that since coming to wherever this is? What if the lizards we've been eating did that to you? What if it does that to me?? Doesn't yellow irises mean jaundice or something?” 

The lanky paladin reached to set his hands on Keith's face, trying to angle him into better lighting only to be fought off with an irritated snarl.

“Lance. Stop.” he shoved in an attempt to put more space between his face and Lance’s. “There's nothing wrong with me. Your eyes are white. Ok you've got some visible blood vessels going on there but you had a bunch of seizures in a short span of time. It's fine.”

As far as Lance was concerned, it wasn't.

It set the tone, though. As the days stretched on and Lance started recovering (and Keith was counting fewer seizures through a larger span of time as recovery). He was able to walk across the cave on his own without falling within a week. He ventured out of the cave with Keith a week and a half after recovery, much to Blue’s motherly disapproval.

He cataloged all the weird differences he noticed while they worked on Red, comparing things between the two lions as they tried to put things together.

Purple splotches that looked like bruises and freckles on joints, the sides of Keith's face and neck, across the bridge of his nose—eventually even purple on his nose. The weird almost point at the crests of Keith's ears-- that as time wore on started to grow out. Lance noticed that especially, though after the third time he pointed it out toward the end of the second week only to get snapped at, Lance decided to let it lie. A strange purple tint to Keith's already black hair. Nails that were thicker than nails had any right to be.

Lance tried to figure out what those might mean. Working theories were 'Keith is a changeling from old myths', and 'Keith's not of earth'--except he mentioned a grandfather. On Earth. And being raised on earth. Clearly he couldn't be _alien_. That would be ridiculous.

The end of the second week brought another trial. Their water supply was dangerously low.

“Ok so we're eating the lizards, right?” Lance mused, laying on his back, staring up at his rapidly changing, very deep in denial companion.

“Yeah. And?”

“Well they have to be drinking SOMETHING to stay alive... and we're eating them without getting sick or hurt or anything...”

“Ok. Following so far.”

“Maybe what they're drinking is safe for us, too? I mean yeah it has the potential to not be a thing we can drink but I'm sure we can figure out how to boil it... Purify it for us.”

“Are you suggesting following them to their watering hole?”

As it turned out, Lance HAD been suggesting that.

When the sun began to set the pair of them strapped back into their armor, helmets on their heads. Their boots stirred the dusty earth under their steps as they tracked the trails of the lizards in the sand, trying to figure out where they went.

As they walked, Keith found himself picking at the tips of his gloves, looking between the offending armored garment, and their path.

“Dude. If you need to trim your nails down again, I can help you out with it. I've been told I'm pretty good with a manicure. You don't have to pretend like you can handle it.”

“I CAN handle it.”

“Your fidgeting says something else entirely.” Lance rolled his eyes, looking at the red paladin with exasperation plainly written on his features. “There's no shame in asking for help.”

“Says the guy who didn't tell a soul he was epileptic.”

“Hey. Different things entirely. Besides. It was under control back then.”

“Whatever you say, Lance.” Keith sighed, peering at the ground.

“That's three of them going in that direction” Keith changed the subject, getting them back on task with a gesture of his hand.

“How do you know it's three?”

“The tail tracks, sniper eyes. I've been here longer than you. Let's just pretend I know what I'm doing, ok?”

“Sure. I can pretend that.” The words would have been cutting if Lance hadn't included the teasing tone and his tongue poking out to show how little he meant it, casually ignoring the rib.

At least they were getting along better, now.

The further along they went on their outing, the more little differences Lance noticed. Keith seemed to be able to spot things Lance didn't notice. Sounds, sights, hell, he even sniffed the air in a way that said his senses picked up on things Lance couldn't.

Changeling was slowly being written off his, very very short, list of things that could explain the list of differences Keith was exhibiting.

By the time they found the water source and headed back, Lance was mentally debating the wisdom in his growing desire to join Keith in the land of denial. He didn't know much about Galra, but he knew they weren't something you wanted to be connected with.

Besides. Whatever Keith was, he was still Keith. Still the red paladin. Still his drive forward. Still one of his friends, and a member of his space-family.

And the changes didn't do anything to mar the fact that Keith was VERY attractive.

Not that he'd admit that out loud. Who'd do something dumb like that? Who'd make it weird? Who knew how long they'd be in space??

Not Lance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I intended to make this a 4k chapter but that was ambitious. Honestly while this ending feels a little abrupt its also probably the best place to pause and take a breath before going forward. I'm classically terrible at pacing in chapter fics because I get that feeling I should stop but I keep ploughing ahead, wanting to do more.
> 
> Anyway. Thank you for all the response so far! For those of you who were concerned I had a bit of a rough month financially and medically. Between colds ripped straight from hell, seizures brought on by a special patented blend of insomnia and stubbornness, and financial scares its kind of been a hard time to try to keep to a schedule. I'm failing.
> 
> If you like this fic and want to keep updated on it, subscribe, comment, kudo. Interaction helps motivate me. I get excited when I see comments and critiques.
> 
> I'm going to be posting a sketch of this doc's Keith on my tumblr soon ([@trickstersgambit](http://trickstersgambit.tumblr.com/tagged/teej_art)) so keep an eye out. I have a head start on January's chapter so wish me luck!


	5. Under Pressure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is super short and you'll see why in the notes at the bottom.  
> Here's a link to the (as yet unfinished) [Galra Keith design](http://trickstersgambit.tumblr.com/post/155567947776/digitizing-the-reference-i-did-for-brainstorms) for this fic. Obviously from the eye reference it's not the one we're seeing in the fic right now, but here's this.

Progress repairing Red was slow going. Neither of them were mechanics. They knew enough to maintain their lions in a pinch, but the kind of work the damaged lion required was beyond them both.

“You know, we could probably sleep in Blue, instead of in the cave... I don't think she'll heat up the way Red does in daylight. Ice is kind of her thing.” Lance suggested as the pair of them peered at some wiring they'd managed to expose on the functioning lion (with her help, of course.) in an effort to figure out what was wrong with Red's systems.  
Keith made an absent noise, tracing a wire with a finger as he tried to memorize the layout.

“It'd allow us to monitor the com. Maybe even shift channels. Find out if we're being looked for on a different line or something... I mean I think it works like that.” Lance bit his lip thoughtfully.

“I guess it's better than sleeping in a cave... we could move our supplies between Red and Blue and have everything protected behind the shields.” Keith nodded, glancing up at Lance, biting a thick nail in thought.

“Anything's better than sleeping in a cave, Keith.” Lance cringed. “we can't shower. We can't even bathe. We should at least have the dignity that comes from sleeping in something that isn't exposed to the elements.”

“You have a point.” Keith sighed, slumping away from where he was crouched, laying back on the deck. “We’ll move in when the temperature drops from Satan's ass crack to something approaching survivable.”

“Sweet!” Lance grinned, moving to lean against the pilot's seat, rubbing his face against it in an affectionate nuzzle. “There. Now you can stop worrying about me so much.”  
Blue was not inclined to agree. She insisted on reserving the right to worry in very much the same capacity as a mom.

That evening had the pair of them collecting their few accumulated belongings from the cave, bringing them to Blue’s cockpit.

It wasn’t an ideal situation, but it wound up not being as obnoxious as it could have been.

Living in Blue was a relatively peaceful endeavor. The space was really too small for two people to live in long term, if they weren't already comfortable with each other, which was debatable sometimes. Neither paladin was particularly quiet, and while Lance had always shared a room, be it in the dorms at the Garrison or at home with his siblings (three boys to one eight by ten room) he wasn't quite used to sharing a space that might only be something like six by eight if you didn't account for the chair, the gear and the displays. It made for some awkward shuffling during their sleep cycle and Lance almost always woke up with his head on Keith's chest (drooling, much to his own embarrassment) but where Lance was expecting to have fights with the man he’d once insisted was his rival none ever actually rose. Instead he found himself actually… relaxed.

The space was lit a pallid aqua that sometimes reminded Lance of a horror movie--in those moments when his head was pounding through its recovery from yet another seizure-- and sometimes made him remember the way the light looked from under the surface of the ocean when he went scuba diving with his uncle, or the lights from the holographic star map in the bridge of the castle. It seemed to him that if he wasn't suffering the effects of a dumb defect in his brain he was waffling between homesickness for earth and homesickness for the family they’d made. He felt a little too proud to try to find out if Keith was suffering the same way.

It didn't escape either of their notices that the com's still hadn't flared in the three weeks since moving into Blue’s cabin, and no amount of assurance from Blue that nothing was wrong with her communication array did anything to assuage the anxiety building in the pair. Especially when the changes in Keith were getting harder to miss or write off.

There was a horrifying moment some time into their shared second month when one of Keith's eye-teeth fell out while tearing into their dinner of lizard meat. He was old enough that it should have been an adult tooth.

“Maybe you're just like a shark and you've got another set of chompers in there and it was just time to say goodbye to this one. I mean look at it. It looks like when a little kid loses a tooth. No root.” Lance held the tooth up in the light from one of the screens, marveling at it a little bit. Teeth were weird but always kind of cool to look at.

Keith gave the tooth a wary look. “Ok so you're suggesting I'm going to get another tooth in?”

“And maybe lose others. Yeah. I mean that'd be rad. It completely negates any broken teeth or cavities you get out here. It's not like we're going to find a dentist who miraculously knows what human teeth need.” Or Galra. Both their minds whispered that.

Neither wanted to voice that concern, even though Lance's mind had begun quietly supplying him with the memory of Keith's hand on the screen, closing the hangar door when they were in the Balmera.

_Coincidence._

“Anyway maybe the teeth you grow in next will actually fit and your canines won't stick out all weird and on the side…” not that he spent a whole lot of time thinking about or looking at Keith's teeth and mouth. Not at all. Those weird teeth were just hard to miss sometimes.

Like when he smiled as he was doing. Holy fuck his heart.

“Yeah. Maybe. Too bad I'm the only one getting upgrades.” Keith teased, all smiles and well meaning mischief.

“Whassat supposed to mean??”

“just that maybe you could use a little more butt…”

They were both blushing before Lance had a chance to process that one way or the other, and then, by mutual silent agreement, they didn't carry it forward. Neither was quite ready to explore that just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm ok with cutting this chapter short this month because this is an OK place to break before the good stuff happens in the next one. Why throw it all in at once anyway? 
> 
> But that's not the only factor in this chapter being short. A lot of stuff happened and the month is only half over. I had a major seizure that's kept me in bed this week I'm still exhausted and worn out from it, and absolutely ready to just go back to bed right fucking now.
> 
> On top of recovering from my seizure I'm trying to raise money to pay my bills this month. So. A lot of stress there.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your support and your comments. I enjoy reading them and talking to you. As always if you have questions about the fic or anything else you can drop them in the comments, send me an IM on Tumblr, or even drop an ask. I'm kind of shy but I'll definitely make an effort to answer everything you send me.


	6. I just wanna live

Time wore on. The pair hunted and worked on Red by night, and hunkered down in Blue for dinner, sleep, and shifts monitoring the communication array while their cleaned meat cooked on Red’s paws. This schedule was broken up either by the occasional noting of another difference Keith was sporting--his ears seemed to be growing and purpling around the inside, a few days later there was a fine growth of fuzz on them that seemed to grow longer the larger Keith's ears got-- or by another unfortunate flurry of electrical hell in Lance that caused him to go down.

The more often the latter happened the more Keith started to get a real grasp on the signs and symptoms of his teammate’s… they were choosing to call them ‘attacks’.

_”The doctors call them events, but honestly? That makes them sound more fun than they are. You choose to go to an event. You get all dressed up and you enjoy yourself. These are more like unscheduled rebellions or attacks from an enemy.”_ And it made enough sense, so Keith had agreed to call them that.

They happened seemingly at random, at first. Anything appears random when you don’t know the pattern, and it had been so long since Lance had been unregulated that he couldn’t remember what his pattern was. So they learned it together. 

Exhaustion was a trigger. The solution was to sleep more often and take frequent breaks. 

Stress was a trigger but it was unavoidable on a strange world with too much heat and not enough accommodation. That often resulted in Lance’s body going limp like a marionette with it’s strings cut.

Pain was a trigger. They worked to make sure Lance wasn’t in any pain. It wasn’t as avoidable as they’d hoped, though. They couldn’t very well keep Lance inside the lion when they needed to get food and water and other things--OK Keith was very worried about Lance having a seizure when he wasn’t there to take care of him. Something Lance both appreciated and wanted to throttle him for. How was he supposed to get used to things to a point where they didn't cause the same problems anymore if he was being coddled the way he was.

Keith always met the argument with reminders that they had to survive their stay on the planet, which meant they _both_ needed to be whole and healthy. Lance couldn't think up a decent counter argument to that, so the coddling behavior continued. There were worse reactions he could imagine. Being pampered wasn't too bad, in the grand scheme of things.

Their days slid into solid routine. Sleep through the heat, wake up at sunset, eat half their previous days kill, work on Red, check their supplies, resupply as needed, eat the other half of their lizardy meal, hunt, clean their kill, spread it out on the Lion’s paws, sleep at sunrise, repeat. Neither thought to keep track of the days they were out there. It just seemed like something that would result in upset.

Neither even considered how long they were out there until the day the comms crackled to life.

“hey, dorks. You’d better be within hearing range of your coms because we’re coming in and you're coming up.”

The pair shared a glance and Lance shoved Keith’s helmet on the red paladin, then pulled on his own. 

“Pidge you have NO idea how good it is to hear your voice!” Lance felt like he could cry from the knot of relief and anxiety twisting together in his gut. They were found, but he and Keith were BOTH far different than they had been before they met with the worm hole.

“No shit!” Pidge heaved a sigh, probably a release of tension on her end, too. “We’ve been looking for everyone for days. You're the last ones on!” there was a smug huff on the other end of the audio. “Four out of four co paladins recovered!”

“Yeah well. We need to help Red back. She took a bad hit on her way down to this sandy shit heap” Keith chimed in, clinging to the back of Lance’s chair. 

There was a whistle over the com line and they saw green in the view panels as Pidge set down in the canyon with them.

“No kidding. That's probably going to take me, Hunk, and Coran to fix. Christ. Work on your landings” it was a playful barb, but Keith flinched just the same.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” he managed to drawl, and Lance looked up at him with an amused snort.

“Like anyone who got directly zapped with weird witch rays comes out of that something like that perfectly alright.”

“Blue came out fine” Keith and Pidge both observed and Lance added “yeah but I didn't” very quietly, just loud enough for Keith to pick up.

“You’re going to be fine.” He whispered back. “We’ll figure it out.”

“You’re pretty confident for someone who’s got his own bullshit thing to worry about.” Lance hissed, giving Keith a once over as if to indicate all the changes they weren’t talking about.

“We’ll burn that bridge when we get there.” Keith hissed back through gritted teeth.

“Don't be so pessimistic.” Lance eyed him then had Blue adjust her position, preparing to help heft the crippled lion back to the castle.

It wasn't even that long of a trip before they arrived in the hangar bay, the functional lions breaking off from Red to allow the system to run diagnostics on her.

Lance settled Blue down in her bay and turned to look at Keith who was wearing his anxiety pretty plainly.

“No one's gonna hate you. Not for whatever this bull shit is. You've had our backs this whole time” Lance assured him, easing out of the seat to go stand beside his teammate, squeezing his shoulder. “And anyone who raises a fuss is going to have to go through me.”

Keith didn't say anything as Lance moved past him toward the exit, following behind with tense shoulders and mounting anxiety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was slow in coming because this month has been crazy. We had a roommate move out so we had to find a replacement roommate--well. Two. And their cat. But before then we had to scrub the house to he'll and back because we haven't been able to properly clean since we got here (nine months is a long time for a military kid to not scrub baseboards yo). Then we found out my cat's got worms, another roommate lost their job (due to helping take care of home issues and trying to do school at the same time) and THEN I finally updated my comic. Its been a crazy month. 
> 
> Anyway with the excuses out of the way hopefully March will be better. My birthday is March 31 so I'm going to see if I can either give you a super long update or a double update.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's commented or will comment. Thank you for all the kudos and the bookmarks. Thank you for any and all shares. Check me out on [Tumblr](http://trickstersgambit.tumblr.com) for my crazed Voltron fanrants, some art (related and not), and cute animals.


	7. People say crazy things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I don't use a Beta reader because I'm too stubborn for that. If you see mistakes please let me know. Catch me on tumblr at [trickstersgambit](http://trickstersgambit.tumblr.com) for questions you want answers to immediately, or just to shoot the breeze. I track my url.

Lance took a deep breath as he disembarked, plucking his helmet off and tucking it under his arm.

 

“Now don't everyone rush me at once but I'm sure we can all agree that it's wonderful to have _this_ gorgeous face back on board” he gave the gathered, too-small-for-the-ship crew a winning grin.

 

Hunk surged forward and swept him up in a tight hug. “You're here! You look like… really bad!-”

 

“-gee thanks-”

 

“But you're here!” Hunk seemed to be crying. Lance could hear his friend’s sniffling over his shoulder and he only hoped it was enough distraction that no one would be too bothered to look at Keith as he came down the ramp.

 

Except it was Hunk, and Hunk could always be counted on to want to welcome ALL his friends, regardless of length of history.

 

So Lance could only be regretfully aware of the fact that Hunk was going to release his grip on Lance and go latch on to Keith as soon as his boots hit the end of Blue’s ramp, leaving the blue paladin wobbling in the wake of his friends moving on.

 

He turned, watching with tightly concealed anxiety as Hunk paused just short of grabbing Keith into a hug. _Oh there's a couple of things I KNOW they're bound to notice..._

 

“Dude! You hit a growth spurt!” wait. Wait had he? Was Keith _taller?_ “You’re just about the same height as Lance now!” no! “Or. Hm” Hunk rubbed his own chin thoughtfully. “Maybe even taller?” That Bastard! “I can't tell. It might be the helmet though!”

 

Now Hunk was eyeing the red paladin with a bit more scrutiny.

 

“I. Didn't realize I’d grown any?” Keith managed, the sound strangled by nerves.

 

“Yeah. I know. How the heck did we miss _that?_ ” With all their cataloging the various changes Keith had been rapidly undergoing over their stay in Desert Hell (which at some point he was going to insist they name the planet in their system.) Lance was genuinely surprised that was a difference they'd missed. 

 

“Well I heard somewhere once that you keep growing until you're twenty-seven-ish so any of us could hit a spurt at any time. Shiro included” Lance jerked a thumb in his direction, hoping that was enough to deflect.

 

“Yeah, I forgot that was a thing… huh… but! You've gotta be itching to know if he is or isn't taller than you…?”

 

And he _was_. That was a problem.

 

“Hh I mean yeah. But we’ve pretty much been on armor like. The whole time we were out there-” Lance started.

 

“-which feels like a long time-”

 

“And imagine Keith's luck, a desert planet.” he could feel himself winding up, scraping together a distraction even as he started to feel nauseated. They were going to know. They were going to find out. He needed to provide buffer and distraction. Keith needed his help. Deserved his help. After their time on the he'll planet and all the help he provided… “Like. The man flees to the desert, gets snapped up and plays hero for a month, then bam. Back to the desert and if-”

 

“Lance” Keith started

 

“If that's not irony--”

 

“Lance! Get-”

 

“I don't know what--” he was going down. All at once he felt the world swimming around him and…

 

Keith watched in horror, darting around Hunk to catch Lance as his body broke into violent jerks and tremors, arranging him on his side to wait out the attack, counting seconds under his breath as he waited for him to come back to himself.

 

“What's happening?”

 

“Is that a seizure?”

 

“Since when does Lance have seizures?”

 

Keith couldn't tell who was asking, their voices seemed to blend in together in the background as he focused in on Lance and his needs. He couldn't spare his focus to the energy required to identify voices and pair questions to answers.

 

He didn't even think about it when he pulled his helmet off and set it to the side, hunching over lance to listen to his breathing as the tremors subsided. He heard the gasps, the noises of concern, but he didn't really process it.

 

“Keith. What. What happened to you?” that was Shiro, back and to his left. Keith felt his ear twitch as he glanced at his childhood friend.

 

“Not important. Later. Right now Lance needs help.” he fixed his attention back on the Blue Paladin, drawing him up from the floor toward his chest. “Coran. He needs a scan. Maybe a visit to the healing tube? He's not well.” he shoved himself to his feet, holding Lance close, looking into the concerned faces of their teammates.

 

Later, Lance would be proud he’d successfully established a distraction so people could adjust to Keith's new appearance after they dealt with a bigger more important event (oh the irony of the word). At that moment, however, Lance was just starting to come back to himself, blinking drowsily at Keith as his friend carted him through cool, familiar halls.

 

“You ok?” he could hear the slur in his voice, how difficult the words were to form.

 

“Yes. Relax. We’re home. We’re getting you help.” Keith managed to sound calm and determined. Lance could appreciate that. It overpowered the worried whispers he could just barely hear from the entourage behind them.

 

He always hated it when people worried about him like that.

 

All at once there was a cold table at his back. It cooled his armor rapidly, though, even worse, even that was being removed. He made a noise of protest at Keith and Coran as they moved above him.

 

“We need to get this off you and check it for damage, my boy.” Coran spoke much more gently than Lance was used to. It sounded like pity and turned his stomach, but he stopped fussing, letting Coran and Keith change him into the body suit designed for the healing tubes, falling asleep once more. If they were going to handle things for him then he really shouldn't worry about things beyond that.

 

Keith stepped back once Lance was changed, allowing Coran to scan him, tensing as Shiro stepped closer.

 

“So. Purple” Shiro started, seeming a slight bit awkward. “Patchy and purple. That's… a big change.”

 

“I'm trying not to think about it.” good lord he was almost above Shiro’s eye level. He’d always had to look up to him before. “But. Lance has this. Weird catalog of changes. I think it was his coping hobby while we were out there.”

 

“Probably better than considering all of. This” shiro waved a hand at Lance and the scans Coran was performing. “Is it. Do you know if its new?”

 

“My situation? Or Lance’s?” Keith tilted his head to raise a brow at the man who was nearly his brother. 

 

“Both? Either? I'm not sure.”

 

Keith sighed and glanced around the room, noting the unreadable expression the princess was throwing his way. His lips pursed around new sharp teeth before he turned his attention back to Shiro.

 

“I. Lance is more equipped to explain his situation. I think its something he's going to want to talk about for himself so, you know, let him?” he shifted foot to foot.

 

“And you?” he heard Allura’s prim accented voice chime in. “How long have YOU been holding THIS secret, _Keith_?”

 

“Princess, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for this. At the very least there's… I mean I grew up with him. He's my brother’s son…” thank everything for Shiro. The frustrated look on Allura’s face as she tried to think of a way to argue against those words was well worth everything Keith would have to face going forward. It meant that, for better or worse, the Galra hadn't ruined Shiro forever. He still had his trust. “But we will be looking into this later” Shiro added in a softer tone, looking at Keith as he said it.

 

“I. Yeah. Just. Can it wait until Lance is… a little better?” watching Coran move the lithe body of his companion from the table to a tube was giving him no small bit of anxiety, and a weird sensation of protectiveness bubbled up in his chest, just shy of a defensive growl.

 

It was almost as though sometime while they’d been trapped together his brain had decided it was his sole duty to defend his companion.

 

“Later, then. Lets get some food in you while Coran starts the sequence.” Shiro offered gently.

 

“Oh man! I've got so much stuff to show you guys. We found a sea planet! And there was so much. Oh man. We have _fish!!_ ” Hunk was practically bouncing in excitement as he swung a hand out to grab Keith's, guiding him away to the kitchen and away from Lance.

 

_its ok. I'm coming back. I'm not leaving him alone. Coran is here. Coran will protect him. Its ok._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woops! I didn't mean to be gone for so long. I've been managing to do drawings and paintings but I haven't managed to get this out as I'd previously hoped. The last. Three? Months? Gosh how long has it been since the last update? If you know let me know because wow.
> 
> Also before I get into things there will be no Allura bashing! I don't want to see it in your comments or book marks. She's been through hell she has a right to be wary and angry.
> 
> Anyway in the space between updates we've had crisis after crisis after crisis. If it wasn't financial it was medical--most recently a massively terrible allergy attack that lead to an er visit and a near death experience. Long story short our new (now exiting) roommates exposed me to the one thing NONE of my siblings, nor my mother, can safely be exposed to, that just became legal in my state. Its three days later, my booty is still suffering the after effects of the shot I had to take (babies first epi. Avoid at all costs!) and I'm just now getting to a point where I can breathe normally and my esophagus doesn't feel like I deep throated a cactus.
> 
> Anyway I'm stuck in bed for a while so I might manage to bang out more chapters. Thanks for sticking with me this far. ;u; it really does mea. A whole heck if a lot.


	8. Turn the Memory to Stone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating once a month is ok right?

“Now, you’ll have to forgive me, I did see this in his first scans after the crystal incident on Arus, but I honestly didn't consider the purpose of its presence at the time.” Coran was saying, though Keith was just barely paying attention, his eyes fixed on the healing pod Lance had been placed in just a short while ago. “But it does look like the chip that was implanted on his skull and the leads into his brain have definitely taken heavy damage since the last scan. There's what looks like inflammation or swelling around the nodes, as well as under the implant itself as well as a rather long bit of scar tissue that seems to have been the implant site, that’s also taken damage.”

Keith turned his focus to Coran and the others who’d gathered around the projected three dimensional visuals of their companions cranium. 

“He told me it was just a chip.”

“Sounds like a typical ‘Lance Thing’;” Pidge used air quotes, then pursed their lips and continued. “If he doesn't understand how something works he dumbs it down.”

Keith gave his teammate a flat, mildly irritated stare.

“He couldn't have made it into the Garrison’s pilot program if he didn't catch on to complex information, understand it and apply it. You know that, right? There's a lot of math and physics involved in the pre-flight school programs that you can't avoid if you want to take the controls in a simulator _ever_ , not the least of which is nautical and aeronautical directional degrees, time zone conversion, and the use and function of every gauge and switch in a cockpit.” Keith didn't like the implications of the tone Pidge had used to ‘point out’ the simplification.

There was a lull into silence as the idea was considered and it gave Keith no confidence that Pidge, and even Shiro himself seemed taken aback by the chastisement. Though Hunk and the smug grin on his face gave him back a _little_ faith.

“So it's perhaps more likely that he didn't think he could accurately relay the information regarding the implantation and have someone pick up on what he was talking about without a visual aid.” Coran hummed in consideration. “It may have to come to a point where all of this is removed as carefully as possible, he spends a few vargas in the pod, then a while recovering. Might insist we can sink in a more advanced control mechanism. Well. Advanced from your standpoint. Maybe from the rest of the universe’s as well. But I'm proud to say Altea was, at the crest before its destruction, far more technologically advanced than other civilizations. Why Altean technology had been employing large and small scale crystal harmonic power for centuries by the time even I was born into the world. Replaced the majority of other fuel sources before my great great great-” Coran continued his babbling but Keith was more focused on the projection.

There was a thick, three inch long scar hidden under Lance’s hair that he hadn't ever noticed. Not even in the time they’d spent together on the hell planet. Sure one side of his hair always seemed to be a little fluffier than the other but he just thought it only had something to do with styling.

“I guess we found the real reason he doesn't like his head being messed with.” Hunk frowned at the projection from Keith's right. “I mean he’d have to explain a scar like that.”

“Still, when all is said and done we _will_ have to discuss what effect this will have on Lance’s ability to pilot the Blue Lion, and your ability as a team to form Voltron.” Allura said with an authority that irritated Keith.

“What’s the big deal? He flew Blue back no problem. The only issue he’s had is when he’s freaking out and he’s always calm when flying. I mean yeah he crashed into that planet and he was seriously messed up for a couple of days but the thing seriously malfunctioned and shorted out you can’t use that instance or him stressing out in the hangar against him--”

Allura gave him a bit of a cool look and turned to Coran to discuss something that didn’t quite translate well.

\--

It was a while before enough of the damage was reversed that Coran felt comfortable changing the pod’s settings to reflect the complex procedure being used to remove the whole implant rig. By that point everyone had left to start work on their own various duties on the ship, or, in Pidge’s case, try to pull together everything they might have had on human anatomy. They’d muttered something vague about how they had time when Shiro was sleeping after their rescue of him.

Keith found himself alone in the room with Coran as they supervised the procedure. He didn’t really understand what was happening but Coran was watching the process on the projection monitors. It wasn’t so much a removal as a breakdown, which, as far as Keith was concerned, was fine by him. Coran had explained but he was guessing the translation tech wasn’t capable of turning the information into something Keith could easily understand.

So it came to Keith standing there in silence, glancing at the projections as the implant’s leads were broken down enough for the actual implant to be removed and bone rebuilt. Fascinating, but ultimately disturbing. Keith was pretty sure the only reason he was sticking around was the weird tingle in his gut that told him Lance needed him.

“So. Galra features.” Coran broke the awkward silence, turning from the projection that indicated a nearly finished state to focus on Keith and take in his appearance. “That must have been quite the trip.”

Keith looked at the older Altean, bewildered by the comment.

“I’m. What?”

“Well, you haven’t had to use the pods so I haven’t really had an opportunity to look at your particulars. You look like you could easily be a half breed or perhaps a aggregation?”

“A what?”

“Let me see your teeth.”

“Coran. What?”

“I just want to get an idea of what we’re looking at, biology wise.”

“Just. wait until Lance gets out. He’s got a list and he’s going to want to babble the whole damned thing at you. You can get it from him without sticking anything in my mouth or, I don’t know, trying to take samples from my patches.”

“An excellent idea my boy. We need to see if you’re going to be growing in any fur any time soon. It has an effect on what tools we need to make sure are on hand for you for cleaning purposes. I’m also going to need blood samples.”

“...You know I think we need our fearless leader in here when Lance wakes up. I’m going to go get him and see if Hunk has food put together for Lance. Maybe. I don’t know. You know. Anything but this.” He hated shots. He hated medical tests. He hated the weird looks his doctors always gave him when they were trying to decipher his results. He definitely didn’t want to deal with that in space. Space was supposed to be a (mostly) safe space.

Besides. He had a Lance to take care of. That was his job now. He was the self elected Lance Caregiver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of things have been going on since the last update. This one is pretty short by my average and I hope no one minds that I've just been in and out of bed, dealing with trying (and succeeding) to put people out of my house, getting a new roommate in, hunting down money to throw into a deposit. Things have just been really tight and tense for a while.
> 
> If you're interested in some of the gritty details I try to keep people up to date on my tumblr (@trickstersgambit), and you can find my art there under [http://trickstersgambit.tumblr.com/tagged/teej_art] or [#teej art] if you're on mobile.
> 
> Longer update to follow [hopefully] in July. 
> 
> Also I'd like to extend a warm thank you to everyone who's commented, book marked or left a kudo, or even just read this. It's really great to see people appreciating my work and encouraging me to keep going. I didn't know how well this was going to be received when I started it back in October, and to see so many people invested in it is so delightful to me.


	9. Just off the key of reason

Lance had been in the cryopod a lot longer than Keith found himself liking, the purple dappled boy alternating between pacing in front of the pod and sitting on the floor in front of it, positioned so he could see the door and the pod at any given moment. 

The sudden hiss and whir of the energy screen dropping had him on his feet before Lance could even topple out--and topple he did. A groan dribbled from his throat as the recovering boy clung to his teammate, face pressed into his chest.

Keith peered down at him, lowering them both to the floor, carefully maneuvering Lance into his back.

“Guess they know now?”

“No shit. It scared the crap out of them.” Keith hated that he was getting used to it. “They're working on a plan to get the bad implant out and install something more effective in its place, so if you were looking for an upgrade from shitty earth cyborg to kinda meh space cyborg, congratulations, the best and brightest are working on a solution”

“Just 'meh’? Damn. I was thinking I earned at least an 'okay’ cyborg level.”

“Nah. You're not at the ‘my augmentation is a physical weapon’ level, yet.”

“Ah well, we can't all be Shiro” Lance sighed in a mock dreamy way. “Broad shoulders and a weaponized right hook…”

“You're right. The Galra haven't even laid a finger on you. How’re you going to be a badass cyborg fitted with enemy tech?” Keith tried to tease “maybe you should settle for meh bordering on okay level cyborg. Come back when your hand-to-hand is on my level and we'll reevaluate you”

“Shit. Think they've got a long term cure for epilepsy? Because I don't see my hand to hand improving in the next pheob” The crinkle at the corner of Lance's eye said he definitely got the joke.

“Oh yeah. Definitely” it probably involved death though. “It's probably Galra Elite Exclusive”

The door hissed and a heart beat or two later there was a gasp followed by a flurry of excited noises. 

“You're awake!” Hunk came barrelling over, ready to pounce on Lance for a hug only to be met with bared teeth, a small growl, and Keith curling protectively around Lance. “I. Okay uh. What's… what's happening”

“He just got out of a healing pod and you're going to throw yourself all over him while he's recovering??”

“I--”

There was the sound of skin against skin; Lance was patting his cheek.

“Keith. Buddy. I appreciate the guard dog act but tone it down a bit ok?”

Hunk watched with amusement and mild confusion mixing on his face.

“So this thing between you… is it… Romantic?” Hunk grinned, flopping down to watch them.

“Uh” the pair of them stared back at Hunk, gobsmacked, slowly pinkening.

“I don't think. I mean helping each other out doesn't have to be a romantic thing, right? It can totally just be friendly and I don't really want to…” Lance babbled, shoving down the desperate 'yes’ that wanted to bubble out of him.

“What he said” Keith agreed firmly, trying to pretend he hadn't just been groping for a short version of 'i would be on board for that in any universe and in this situation specifically yes please’ 

“Anyway” Lance cleared his throat, trying to shove himself to his feet and out of the awkward situation only for his legs to give out on him, sending him right back into Keith's chest. “Fuck… well Keith, I guess you're too cute. I keep falling for you. Something's gotta give.”

“Uh. Falling for me? I thought that was just…” Keith was confused. Were they flirting? We're they just being friendly? Did friends flirt? Did he and Lance flirt? Was-

“Hunk help me up. I'm dying” Lance whined, hands up and out toward Hunk. Something about that just raised Keith's hackles… but he allowed Lance to be helped up, then when he was on his feet himself, tucked Lance against his side. Totally to brace him on his feet. Totally.

“So how did we never know?” Hunk started, eyeing Lance with a frown. “I mean I know your Abuela’s cookie recipes by heart, I could call your mom's house in an unfamiliar phone and dude I've seen your room. How could you just. Not tell me about this?”

Lance leaned into Keith, staring at their feet as they walked down the hall together. “I…”

“Sometimes people need their secrets. To… feel normal, I guess…” Keith suggested, wrapping his arms tighter around Lance. “Sometimes secrets help you feel sane”

“... You sound like that's some personal experience…”

“Maybe” Lance made a mental note of the conversation and a pin in it to remind him to gently poke at that subject later…

Soon enough they were in the dining hall, Keith had Lance sitting in his chair (rather than in his lap gathered to his chest like something deep inside him insisted he ought.) And eating had commenced… followed by a deluge of other castle dwellers.

The immediate shift in noise had Keith's ears laying back, but Lance was happy enough, so he dealt with it. It was enough for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super duper short update to show I'm still alive and yes this fic isn't dead yet. This fic is one year old. Am I slow burn master now?
> 
> But seriously, between moving, being in intense pain, being sick, doing some art commissions and *trying* to do inktober this year (go check out my tumblr, also 'trickstersgambit' for that) I haven't had much time for fun--and this fic is fun for me. 
> 
> I'm mostly having to do commissions things because we're having a tiny bit of trouble making it through months with enough food to keep the doctors off my back but?? It's whatever. 
> 
> I've got some art for this (well. Doodles. Sketches? Inkwork???) Coming up on my tumblr, too, so head on over if that suits your fancy
> 
> I read all your comments. If I haven't replied it's because I want it to crowd my inbox because it's too sweet or i haven't looked yet. Thanks!!


	10. A loaded gun concept

Lance's energy flagged much faster since the wormhole incident. It was an effect he recognized from his early youth; a side effect of the seizures that continued to wrack his body and brain. Along with nausea, dizziness, and his damaged sense of balance.

It frustrated him. His attempts to live a normal life had been thwarted once again, only this time he knew what a normal life felt like. He’d had nearly six years of it.

A part of him was grateful for the almost smothering attention of Keith and the rest of the crew. If his brain attacked, he wasn't alone. He might be covered in bruises but there was always a body, usually Keith's, settled nearby when the fog cleared.

Which was where he found himself in that moment, his cheek resting on the knee of Keith's new, very soft Altean pants.

In his drowsy haze he heard Keith speaking in his awkward way to another voice, soft and vaguely high. Not the cadence or accent from home. His blazing brain groped for the name. He knew the name. It was a friend…

Eventually, though, he gave up. The haze wasn't allowing it. Hell. He was lucky he remembered the word 'matchstick’.

Huh. Matchstick. Matchstick. Matchstick. Matchstick. Match st-

“--must ask you… did you know?” The words broke through his meandering thoughts. This was important. Listen. Listen understand. “I mean. Before you all came to space. Did you know you were--?”

Lance could only assume there was some gesturing going on from the way the sentence broke off. He’d look but he was pretty sure the lights would wear his eyes and cause the pain in his head to spike.

“No. I. You have to understand-- I. I never really knew my parents. I mean I have these… I don't know. Vague… dreams? Memories? I mean. There's a guy. Tall, a scar, just here” more gesturing. This time Lance could feel it in the shift of the body he was laying on. Why gesture. He wanted to know too! Why talk like he wasn't in the room?

Oh. Right. Technically he wasn't. He didn't count himself in until the weight in his limbs let up enough to move, and the words in his brain had a visit to the shape of his mouth and pull of his lungs. That. Wasn't happening for a while yet.

“There's no pictures. Just a name and a slough of foster parents and group homes and psychologist visits--”

“Foster parents?”

“Yeah” she must have looked confused because he clarified “you know--a parent does or is unfit somehow and you get a surrogate who's responsible for your health and well-being? And they can choose to adopt you or--”

Was that a hitch? Someone's voice hitched

“Or throw you away because you're difficult…” he finished. “It happens a lot on Earth”

“I wasn't aware… I'm afraid I'm only aware of my own familial situation…”

“Doesn't matter. It's. Passed. I got Shiro and now I'm here.”

“With. More questions than answers, I'm sure.” Allura supplied, and there was a jostle that probably meant a nod.

Allura. Allura. Allura. Allu- he was so tired. Everything felt so heavy and painful and he was so tired.

“He's still out. He stopped moving a while ago. I should--”

“Does he need a healing pod?”

“I don't know if it would help, at this point. Until the remnants of the implant are out, and the system is replaced, I'm pretty sure it's going to stay this way.” Another voice chimed in, warm and worried. “If we put him in he's going to get clear tissue but it's going to get damaged again.”

“Can they even stay effective if they're used on the body repeatedly in the span of several weeks? I mean a lot of treatments for things back on Earth have to be cycled through for them to stay effective. Antibiotics, pain management, brain chemistry managing medication…” another voice offered, slightly nasal and vibrant, but weighty in its own way. Pidge. Pidge. Pidgey. Pidgeotto. Hey remember that one legendary version of Pokemon that had to be recalled or something because it have kids seizures?

Hahaha

“I'm pretty sure Coran would have said something if there was a chance of the healing technology having a stopping point.” Another deep voice offered. Ugh we're they all there? Lame. Lame lame heads worrying about nothing. Ugh. UGH.

“From what I know there likely isn't one” Allura chimed in. “I’ll admit to not knowing the full extent of the capabilities, though.”

Ugh. Fuck this. He didn't care enough about the conversation to keep listening. He was just going to roll over, press his face into Keith's stomach, and to the fuck to sleep.

Keith looked down in surprise when Lance moved, brows furrowing before he dropped a tentative hand to pet soft brown hair, smoothing it as his charge got comfortable. There was a soft noise that seemed almost… pleased? When he did that… and color shit into Keith's cheeks.

“Wow, that's some interesting Iris dilation and ear posture you've got there, Keith” Pidge teased. “You two finally solved your shit?”

“Language” Shiro snapped in a hushed whisper. 

“What? It's the best way to put i-”

“Did it hurt? The ears. Because that kind of change seems. I mean it doesn't seem comfortable when people were-out in the movies. Even Bruce Banner had a lot of agony on his face every time he changed so I mean now that you're Galra-keith not, you know, Regular Keith, it seems like it can't be comfortable. Like all the changes and the--”

“Just. Keith” Lance slurred in a grumble against his care-giver’s stomach. “Still Keith. Just fluff.”

“Are you back to the land of the living or do you need to rest more…?” Keith switched to worried mother hen mode pretty quickly. “I can get you to bed. Or, Shiro brought water. You should drink it anyway even if you're tired…”

Lance groaned, pressing his face into Keith's belly again. Too much. 

“Lance. C’mon. I know you're tired and your head is probably throbbing. Water will help and then we can get you to bed.” Keith gently eased Lance up, supporting him as Shiro reached past to hand Lance the water pouch.

Lance didn't miss the flinch in Shiro’s hand as he passed over Keith's arm on the way back. Even bleary, drowsy slitted eyes couldn't miss that. That had to be killing the both of them. They seemed so close, before.

“Thank” his arms felt too heavy to lift the pouch though. Thank God for Keith.

An alarm rang out over the speakers and Lance flinched, pressing his face into Keith's shoulder. “Fuck”

“Paladins. Battle stations.” Allura barked, and suddenly everything was shifting. The hard floor became a soft seat and Lance opened his eyes to the searing room and, oh god, flashing lights.

They were under attack.

“Hey how come Lance gets to curse? He's like. Four.” “Not the time, Pidge”

“Rest” Keith ordered, moving to his station. “Don't you dare try to help.”

“But--”

The bridge became a flurry of shouts and images, and things were going downhill fast.

“How do they keep finding us?”

Keep? Oh. Oh! Oh God he hadn't slept properly in two days. That's right. Fuck…

His hands lifted, grabbing for the controls, only for them to fizzle out.

There was more yelling. Something about teleduv? What?

And then silence. Or maybe he was passed out again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a neurologist appointment today. Is it weird to miss your doctor?
> 
> Are you surprised to have another update so soon? This one's only a couple hundred words longer but it's something.
> 
> Difficulty with language (ephasia) and concepts, as well as extreme exhaustion and lethargy are common problems people with brain trauma or even sensory overload can face following episodes, especially in cases of seizures or strokes. Keith hasn't had training in handling after-episode-care, so his response to it here is an attempt, but there are more, and better, ways to handle post seizure care. For more information on that in better detail, I have a bunch of information on my tumblr under the tag "epilepsy awareness" and I urge you to please go read as much as you can.
> 
> And yes, it seems like Allura is handling Keith's transformation pretty well, but remember, her reaction was delivered through Lance's senses, and he was missing a lot of context.
> 
> Did anyone else feel like Shiro's visible reaction to Keith being Galra was a little too easy? Held captive for a year, had nothing but bad times, but secret Galra? Galra allies? Awesome!
> 
> Too easy.
> 
> As to Pidge's quip about Lance's age... Idk as much as I love Shiro being six or seven... It didn't seem organic to me so... I traded him and Lance to make it fit a little better.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for all the comments that rolled in after yesterday's update! You make me feel so loved.
> 
> November is National Epilepsy Awareness Month and there's an Expo at the Disneyland Resort Hotel in Anaheim CA from the 6th through the 8th, offered by the Epilepsy Centers. If you have epilepsy, or know someone who does, I recommend checking it out because it sounds really awesome!


	11. Buzz, buzz, buzz, Doc there's a hole where something was

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to update early for two reasons: One, I'm ahead of schedule and actually have two chapters written up. Two, I have some information I wanted to share before I lost the link to it completely and we'd never be able to share that moment. That information is related and kind of interesting so I thought I'd grab it and put it down in the notes at the bottom. 
> 
> I'm going to cover everything from season two, to present (and try to keep following the series as new episodes air, we'll see how well that goes. Here's looking at you, S4, you tricky little bag of confusion)
> 
> Anyway: Enjoy! [This fic presented to you with zero proofreading or beta work.--I do all my own stunts. Blindfolded]

He was missing days. When he was a kid it only mattered when it was the school year, or someone’s birthday fell in the middle of those days, and even then, it only happened when he didn’t have his medication regularly. Thankfully the implant kept it from happening once it was installed, but now he was an adult, in space, without his implant, without a neurologist, with the weight of the universe looming over him.

No pressure.

And they weren’t missing _exactly_ , just jumbled and hazy, and didn’t make much sense.

Thaldycon. Thal. Dycon. Crystals. Lance’s head was pounding behind his eyes, at the base of his skull, across the top, in his ears. The fried implant and it’s effects were wearing him down, little by little. He wanted to sleep but sorting things out was important, especially with everything that’d been going on between the corrupted portal and that moment.

 _Honestly I’m surprised it stayed charged out here. Maybe the quintessence?_ Blue’s soft purr in his head brought a soothing cool with it and he let out a soft sigh. She probably had something to do with it, and Lance wasn’t even a bit surprised, anymore.

Thaldycon. That happened _before_ the flurry of jumps, right?

“You ok?” Keith eyed Lance, who was slumped against the table, face pressed into the surface with a hand resting over his eyes. A light sensitive reaction Keith could definitely sympathize with, at that point. Why did the lights in the castle have to be so bright?

“Peachy” Lance grunted, shifting his other arm to cover what spaces his hand wasn’t getting adequately. There was a heartbeat and then “Sorry. That. came out wrong. I’m tired. I need some kind of rest. I guess.”

Keith nodded thoughtfully then reached out to press his fingers to Lance’s forehead, lips pursed in thought.

“You’re warmer than usual”

“It’ll calm down in a couple hours. Remember? I just need to put my thoughts together and rest.”

“Take all the time you need.” Keith pulled Lance’s hood up and over his head, arranging it so it would help dim the light, nudging a cool glass of water against a limb. “Coran and Pidge are working on figuring out what’s going on. We’ll probably have an answer soon.”

“Kay.”

Ulaz. Crystals. Oh. The robeast… The more he thought about it the easier things fit into place.

His memory of the exact words were hazy, but Shiro had been excited about something--a memory, a galra, possible allies. His excitement was infectious, and Lance remembered grinning. Then arguing…

And then the field of crystals. Space was AMAZING. If you didn’t think about how the crystals were apparently highly reactive and basically mines. He sucked at mine sweeper. Worst free-to-play pre-installed game ever. No matter where he clicked he always got every mine in three clicks.

It was possible he didn’t really understand the game, or that his siblings had changed the settings to hard mode before he’d even gotten a chance to touch the game.

It didn’t change the fact that Thaldycon was basically a mine field.

Allura hadn’t seemed enthused. Pidge and Hunk were reluctant to believe this would end well-- Lance felt a certain level of personal offense that there seemed to be a ship wide anti-Galra sentiment. Keith was at least PART fuzzy purple alien, and he was a good guy. That had to prove there were other Galra who were just as chill, right?

He DID remember fighting the intruder, though he was fairly certain the fight was designed to test how battle ready they were--there was no way anyone DIDN’T know what the castle of lions looked like, rebel, citizen, or soldier. 

He remembered his ass getting handed to him (though in his defense he wasn’t exactly in top notch condition.) and how upset about that Keith had been. He’d never seen Keith bristle and snarl, but he REALLY wasn’t happy with their guest.

Flattering.

He was angry but he was still interested in the stranger. At least, in his weapon.

Then the offer to return to the base and send information came up, and there was a chorus of interested noises from the team, wanting to see the base, find out how it worked, understand the processes behind it...

“I’m coming-- I mean” Keith paused, looking between Ulaz, Shiro, and Lance. “I-- if--?”

“Keith, for God’s sake. Go. I got this. It’ll be fine. I’ll stay as Coran’s back up and keep the Princess safe. You go have fun.” He gave Keith’s shoulder a relaxed pat, and grinned at him.

“That’s not what I meant, Lance.” 

“Shh. Go have fun. Learn something. I’m going to take a seat and keep an eye on things here.” a look intended to relay ‘don’t give away my weakness’ was directed at Keith, as Lance tried to shoo him away.

From there he lost track of what happened, beyond a sense of regret, anxiety, loss and fear… They’d fought something, they’d narrowly escaped… And then Ulaz--he thought they’d be taking him on their adventure but that apparently wasn’t going to happen.

A soft question hours after the battle when they were having a little downtime confirmed it, and caused Keith to go all fussy over him. If he wasn’t sure what happened then his brain had gone side ways again and did he need anything? 

Keith was always fussing over him, anymore. He wasn’t enjoying it. Things clearly needed loosening up.

That’s why he started the spore fight. As soon as he saw them he KNEW what had to happen, and the chaos afterward had been well worth the effort. Everyone was happy, tensions were loosening…

And then the goddamned decontamination room. The pulsing red light was murder on his already pounding head, and Keith noticed, moving to fuss over him, calling for the lights to be shut off (Lance knew they were bothering Keith, too, but he was too stubborn to say anything, and if Keith wasn’t going to give it away, Lance wasn’t either.)

“Close your eyes and focus on my voice-- Hey Coran? Can you dim the lights? Or at least switch from red to natural?”

“Negative, number four. Built in function of the process. You’re going to just have to power through this one.”

The irritated cat look on Keith’s face, and the pull on it that said his ears were laying back against his head were both well worth remembering… 

Then the bright greens and yellow dappled browns of Olkarion-- beautiful if his head wasn’t already (constantly) throbbing, but a weight on his own personal hell in the fact that it was… and the head gear for wood-mechs that only amplified the pain--he had to turn that down, he remembered.

He didn’t want to draw attention to the fact that he could almost always hear his heart beat in his ears. These strangers didn’t need to know his weakness. He was doing fine, right?

Wrong. There was another patchy gap. A mission, Keith… threatening someone? (why was that hot and terrifying at the same time? Great, now he needed a neurologist, a neurosurgeon, AND a psychiatrist. Good job team)

He remembered the look of some mix of fear and awe on the faces of the other paladins, and the firm determination on the attendant that lasted all the way up to the wall rolling away--who does that? Who’s that dramatic? Can’t they just use a door? What’s wrong with doors? Doors were solid dependable ancient technology…

The person Keith threatened to kill had some high rank that he’d betrayed. Lance couldn’t remember the details beyond the shock and anger that swept the group, it was all too close to the mess of activity that followed.

Flying was harder with his brain in the state it was in, but he got the feeling Blue was doing her best to help him, and he couldn’t fault her for that at all, especially when it kept him alive when giant, multiplying, learning cubes were attacking them all…

And then they were grass? And Pidge did that? That was cool. He was going to have to congratulate them later, if he remembered it again.

“Why aren’t they letting us rest?” He found himself whining as he pulled out of his own thoughts, lifting his hood to squint at the cup Keith had placed in front of him.

“Dunno. They’re tracking us somehow but there’s no real clues as to how… I have… I mean… Allura said there’s a pool? It might help with all the aches you’ve got right now...” Keith offered. He was going to keep his own worries close to his vest. Lance didn’t need the weight of them sitting on his own troubles, too. He’d already helped sort through a lot of Keith’s Galra Revelation issues anyway.

Besides, Lance’s excited face at the word ‘pool’ was entirely worth the subject change.

“What are we waiting for??” Lance was on his feet in no time flat, beaming at Keith like he wasn’t feeling like he was on fire. “Let’s go!”

A little while later they were in trunks and tucked into the elevator. The diversion of power had less lived-in spaces nicely dimmed to a livable level, and the pair were happier for it, Lance seeming to come alive in the darkened state.

“So how long has it been since Olkarion?”

“About two days. You’ve dropped three times. I’m--”

“Worried. Yeah. I know. I’m sorry. If I could control it I’d--” he felt guilty. All the worry and work being put in to take care of him seemed like it was taking from everything else important that was going on. And he seemed to be the one getting the most rest. How was that fair?

“It’s not something you can control, though.”

“I know, but it hasn’t been this bad since I was a kid. It’s”

“The stress. I can tell” Keith sighed. “Hopefully we get a solution soon, and you get to rest. Then we can figure out what’s going on and how to help you. I’m just sorry you’re having to go through all of this.”

“It’s fi--” the lights went out completely and there were a pair of Definitely Manly Noises (they squeaked. They both squeaked and they knew it. It was just a matter of pretending it hadn’t happened. Because it didn’t.)

“... So. I guess this means no pool?” Lance tried, feeling Keith shift at his side.

“Probably not… We should at least try to get out of here though… I’m going to lift you up, try and feel around for a panel” 

Sometimes Lance forgot Keith had grown a lot while they were on the planet, and even in the time following. The idea of being lifted by him brought all kinds of different butterflies to the pit of his stomach, but he made an agreeing noise, letting himself be swept up into the task.

A couple of minutes later and some minor manhandling, Keith and Lance perched on a ledge to another floor of the ship, working as a team to try to get out of the shaft.

It took everything he had in him not to fuss over Lance the whole time… Though once they were freed into the din of attack alarms he DID give into the urge to carry him to the bridge bridal style, much to Lance’s embarrassed dismay.

On their arrival, Keith put Lance down into his seat, then rushed over to his own station, intent on defending the castle… at least until all the controls went out.

"Coran? What's going on??"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few days ago I stumbled onto a video talking about the implant process that's what I based Lance's off of (thanks, Facebook's 'you might be interested in this' algorithm...) [This is a simplification of the RNS implant and it's processes](https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=524369144566183&id=522010714802026) and I wanted to share it so people who weren't familiar with what I've been talking about have a chance to understand. I want to stress that I'm not a doctor, I don't claim to be an expert, and I only know about my own seizures and have done research on ways to take care of them in the context of my own situation, which is what I'm applying to this fic.
> 
> I'm putting this quite a ways in the future (fifty to a hundred years, because my lack of faith in humanity goes that hard) so the process and even the technology involved would be a little more advanced than it is today (a hundred years is what it took to go from 'having fits' to 'oh shit that's a seizure' after all)
> 
> Oh. More personal stuff: I had my appointment. My medication was changed (so I have weird fluxuating amounts of energy as I titrate up to the new dose) and I might be having a stay over in the hospital at some point in the future in order to try to determine where my seizures are coming from, and whether or not the implant would work, or if there's another kind of thing they can do to solve my problems. 
> 
> Also I tried to get some work up for this, but my desktop isn't set up and my laptop is unreliable (i'm just hoping i can post this) so there's no Brainstorm art up right now. Sorry ;;
> 
> Do you guys mind getting these kinds of updates at the ends of the chapter? Also, thank you so much to everyone who's sent in comments or commentary. I really appreciate it ;u;<333


	12. My scar is from a polar bear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this update I'm finally 12 for 12. I'll do two next month so I'll be totally up to date (unless I finish more before the 31st. we'll see) but four in one month is a pretty big deal. I know it's just ~2k words a chapter but that still feels like a lot for me, lately...

“No. No, absolutely not. No way.” Keith hissed, putting himself between the teleduv and Lance.

“Keith, we need all the hands available, and Lance has hands.” Pidge argued, glaring up at Keith, who was slightly hunched over, ears flattened out and slightly back. He looked a lot like an angry cat. No one could deny it... 

“He almost crashed again! He was on the floor just a few hours ago, Pidge!” He snarled, and Lance suppressed a groan, scrubbing a gloved hand down his face.

Shiro, who was helping Hunk sort out the ‘cookies’, eyed Keith with a barely hidden nervous energy.

“Not that I don’t see where you’re coming from, Pidge” Shiro started “But Keith’s right. Coran doesn’t have the best track record of understanding or communicating the relative danger of certain situations, and we’ve got a responsibility t--”

“Don’t I get a say?” Lance cut in, irritated at having people talk for him, around him, and generally treat him like he wasn’t a capable adult. It was fun to be pampered, it was IRRITATING to be coddled.

Keith let out an irritated noise, glancing at Lance over his shoulder, and Lance gave him a light smack to the back of the head.

“Dial back the angry, protective mama impression, kitty boy. It’s my body, my brain, my limits… my home, my friends, my life. I should get a say in what happens, too. I know the risks and I’m not… unaware… of my issues or limitations but I don’t want to sit on the sidelines when I could be helping. Especially when it’s something so important to our survival.” Sure his legs were a little weak and his head was throbbing but he NEEDED to do this.

“Lance…” Keith had a reproaching tone in his voice that, had it come from his mother, would have cowed Lance into line.

Keith wasn’t his mother.

“Keith, I’m going to help. Brain attacks or not, I’m still a part of team Voltron and what effects you guys and what you all go through still has an effect on me. If I’m not part of making sure our _family_ is safe, then I’m going to stew in guilt and it’s going to make things that much worse.” Lance narrowed his eyes at Keith, fists on his hips as he stared into his friend’s eyes. At some point the hybrid had turned to face him and was looking none too happy with any of his shit.

“Fine.” There was a wince that went through the room. He clearly wasn’t happy about the concession. “But we’re having a talk, later.”

“Fine.” Lance huffed back at him, lips pursed “And it’s not like I was going in without the solar shield up… I don’t think anyone should, honestly.” He stepped around the red paladin, snagging up two lenses as Coran started moving them into position. 

In the end, the fight was worth it. They got far enough away that it seemed safe enough to relax… Which was a relief, given the way Lance’s legs gave out under him when they were given the all clear.

As irritated as Keith was, he still prioritized Lance, scooping the lanky paladin up against his chest as he darted out of the room.

“... So can I change my bet on how long before they get together?” Coran asked, watching the retreat.

\--

“You put too much on the line, Lance. He said there was a possibility of death if we moved.” Keith grumbled, settling Lance back on the bed in the Blue Paladin’s room.

“Yeah but we were fine…” Lance frowned, hands reaching up to paw at his helmet, struggling with it, only to have Keith reach out and help lift it off.

“But what if we weren’t? What if you dropped before the jump finished?” He tried not to snarl, setting the helmet aside as he reached for the bracers next. “It wasn’t just your life on the line, Lance. We were all in there.”

Lance flinched, turning his attention to the suddenly very interesting ceiling of his bunk. Keith noticed the reaction and frowned, staring down at the nearly invisible clasps on the armor, working them open with a pointed look, trying not to launch into a full lecture… or look too hard at Lance’s face.

‘And if your implant fails? What then? What about your crew?’ The words had hit hard back when he heard them from the neurologist when he begged for a sign off on the medical verification form way back when. ‘You’ll be a burden on your crew, at best, and their personal grim reaper in the worst.’ He’d been so determined, so confident and careful with everything relating to his implant, his care, his treatment… He was so sure it would never happen.

“I’m sorry” he choked out, words soft in his throat. “I know. I know I’m a risk, more now than ever I just... “

Was he crying? Oh god Lance was crying. Keith didn’t know if he could handle that. 

“I don’t want to be a burden. I. The last thing I want is to risk everyone’s lives for my sake… I just… We wouldn’t survive if we didn’t at least risk it… I just.” He let Keith pull off the armor, then helped with the suit underneath. “If anyone’s going to be put at risk I’d rather it just be me, you know?”

Keith stared at the scar that stretched over Lance’s back, the only remaining evidence of their first ground battle. Lance was willing to die for all of them. He knew that. They all knew that… His eyes shot to the side, focusing on the pajamas he was sure Lance would prefer to change into after the days they’d been having.

“Lance.” Keith sighed, handing the blue paladin his pajama shirt. “You’re not a burden… You’re… Important. To me--- I mean the whole team. We care about you and we don’t want to see you suffer more.”

Even if Pidge had been willing to risk Lance’s life for all of their safety (logically he knew it was the right move, but he didn’t have to like it.)

“I’m making everyone change the way they approach challenges. Sounds like a burden to me.”

“You’re not.” Keith insisted, looking up from the pile of fabric that made up the rest of Lances sleep wear. “You’re not a burden. You’re having a hard time, but that doesn’t mean we don’t WANT to take care of you. That I MIND making sure you’re safe. I don’t!”

“Yeah, sounds like you’d bubble wrap me if I would let you…”

“Would that be so bad?” He tried making it a joke, but the idea of bundling Lance up and hiding him away until they found a solution appealed to something in him.

“Keith, no.” Lance sighed, rolling his eyes as he gestured for the pants.

“Fine.” Keith huffed back, handing the pants to him, then giving into the part of him that wanted to headbutt Lance as gently as possible. “I just want you to be safe and happy…”

“I know, Mullet-cat... “ it was Keith’s turn to be pet, at least in passing, as Lance shimmied off the bed to pull the pants on. “You’re just really shit at people.. I’ll try to be… uh… Better? About staying out of trouble. Nopromisesthough”

Keith sucked in a deep breath, closing his eyes as he gathered his thoughts.

“Compromise?” Keith tried, tentative after a few moments of silence.

“I’m listening.” Lance’s eyebrow arched, but he sank back to the bed, fully clothed and completely curious.

“... I want to take care of you”

“You already do.” Lance snorted, amused.

“No. I mean… I’d feel better about things if I could be… In some… I mean… I want to… be… there… for you… i mean officially. Somehow.”

“...This is starting to sound a lot like a proposal.” Lance stared, trying to tease his friend into relaxing. 

“Maybe that’s what I want it to be!” Keith huffed, looking completely like a startled cat, ears flicking back and forth. “Maybe I want to…”

“To… What?”

“I don’t know!!” He did know. He just didn’t know how receptive to the idea Lance would be.

Lance went over everything possible in his mind… then with his mouth.

“Well, you don’t have the medical experience to be a doctor or a nurse, but you’ve been pretty good at being a caretaker… but that was pretty much already an unspoken thing… we have to go over that, too, considering how frustrating things have been.” He hummed thoughtfully. “But it sounds like… I don’t know maybe you’re going for something a little more… uh… affirmative? Solid?”

“Sort of.”

“... I…” Lance stared for a long moment. “... You… Keith Kogane were you trying to ask me to be your date-mate?” Wow he felt hot. Was he red? He was pretty sure he was as red as Keith’s lion.

“Wha--I…?” Keith made a stressed sort of whine in his throat. “MaAybee?” His voice cracked, and he stared down at his hands between his knees, fluffed and flushed and utterly confused with how things had gone from a potential fight about Lance’s safety to maybe possibly… something.

“Maybe…?” Keith was _maybe_ interested in dating him? “If I say yes? How does us being something official make a compromise?”

“If something happens when we’re in the field or something... “

“You already run to help. We’re teammates.”

Keith let out another irritated noise. 

“I like you!”

“Yeah. I get that. We’re teammates. Friends?” Lance frowned, eyeing him a bit. “I mean--”

“No. No Lance. I LIKE you. Like…” Keith was struggling, trying to find the words. He’d gotten interested in people, before, but not enough to actually want to go that far...

“Hand holding, kissing kind of like?” _What are we, thirteen?_

“Yes! That. Exactly! That.” Keith nodded, eager and excited, ears popped up on his head. That. Was cuter than he thought it would be.

“...I… Um.” Wow

“It’s ok if you don’t want to. I mean I know you told Hunk that we weren’t… I mean.. It sounded like you weren’t interested when he asked but--”

“No no, I’m totally into the idea I mean who doesn’t love the idea of a hot alien datemate right?” Lance babbled. “I mean you’re already great at doing most of the typical boyfriend things so why not try the rest, right? I mean you’re totally welcome to change your mind if you come to your senses and decide that I’m too much or whatever. I won’t be offended… I mean I know I LOOK amazing and make excellent arm candy but--”

“You flirt with anything that breathes, you’ve got a habit of getting yourself into messes that could be easily avoided, you don’t like to admit your faults, but you’re smart, and caring to the point of self sacrifice, you put everyone else’s needs above your own even when you’re falling apart. You’re a catch, shut up.” Keith’s face was on fire. It had to be. “So. You’re… Into the idea right?”

“I mean as a trial? Sure… I… we just… let’s not announce it or anything, yet? I’m pretty sure Pidge has the leading bet on us and I really don’t want to give them a reason to crow.”

“Wait they’re betting on us?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith's bad at this whole. People. Thing. And for all the flirting Lance does, so is he.
> 
> Am I doing this slow burn thing right??? It's only about 20k total in the words department so far but?? Long time readers have been waiting on this for a year.
> 
> Beyond that, if you're interested in art, I urge you to check out my tumblr (same username, i'm loath to change it) and if you're interested in art commissions I'm taking pay what you want so I can Pay My Bills lmao. 
> 
> Chapter 13 will be up between now and the end of November. I love your comments, and if you want to send me messages on tumblr, asks or im's, I try to answer those, too. My energy is flagging but I love you and I'll be working on more eh. Later? Tonight, tomorrow. I don't know.
> 
> Thanks for all your kind words and your continued patience and readership!


	13. My curse is from a witch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas is in two days, and so this is my gift to you, dear readers!
> 
> The title for this, and the last chapter, are from "anything for you" by Ludo.
> 
> Before we get started: if you have meds to take, have you done it? Have you had enough water? Have you eaten? Please take care of yourself!

The ridiculous costumes Coran fished up for them to bounce around the swap moon (which was more like a typical Earth mall, but… details) were, in fact, worth the effort of even putting on. Absolutely Not. Maybe when they were kids. For Halloween. Everyone in the moon-mall seemed to be dressed relatively sedately in comparison.

Keith wondered what Coran would have pulled together for Shiro, if he’d come along.

“Remember, we’re looking for scultrite lenses.” Coran chirped. “Stay safe and stay together. You never know when someone might try to trick you out of your goodies!”

The moment he took off Lance stripped the layers. Overstimulation was sure to bring on a seizure anyway, and he was glad to see he wasn't the only one ditching the costumes for street clothes.

“I'm gonna go see what they have here. Maybe I can stock up on up-to-date tools” there was a beam on Hunks face that the rest of the group mirrored. He was excited, and they couldn’t help be excited with him

“I'm gonna just look around. See if there's a tech store or something.” Pidge hummed. “Might turn up some useful stuff.”

“Stay safe” Keith warned. When did he become such a mother hen?? “Lance is with me.”

“Hey, if you come across a pharmacy looking place, or like… candy? Check back in.” Lance tried not to be too hopeful. The chances of anything being human compatible was low… but his hell warranted a treat or two, right?

Then it registered that he and Keith were going off… together. Together-together. As a Thing. Maybe not to the rest of the group but it Mattered.

“So what's your plan, oh mighty, selfless knight?” Lance teased.

“Keep you hydrated, check out some things, grab necessities if possible, and uh. Other things.” Keith offered, looking around the group as shrugs were pulled into being on the tech heads' shoulders.

“See you here in an hour, I guess.” The pair split from the group, and each other, and Lance watched them go, once again alone with Keith on a strange planet. “Soooo. Where to first?”

Keith shoved a water pouch in Lance's hands.

“You're still recovering so we're taking this slow. Put these on” he held out the glasses he apparently tucked away in the costume removal process “and stick close.”

“Pffff. Should I hold your hand?” Lance popped the straw into his drink and started to sip.

“Well, we should try it… I mean aren’t we--” He cleared his throat, glancing at Lance.

“Dating?” Lance supplied, grinning at him around his straw.

Keith cleared his throat, nodding a bit. “Exactly. We’re dating. Dating people hold hands… right?” he sounded so uncertain, and Lance couldn't help but grin at him, reaching to lace his fingers with Keith’s. 

“Alright, Mullet-Cat… I can get behind that.” there was an audible sigh of relief from Keith. He had something right. Ok. Keith could do this. “So lead on, sir purrs-a-lot.”

“Are cat puns my life now?” Keith grimaced.

“You have fluffy cat ears. It's unavoidable. Like a compulsion. I can't _not_ tease you.” Lance grinned wider at him, and suddenly Keith couldn't find anything to gripe about. Even if his speckled cheeks were heating up and giving Lance more ammunition.

“Okay, fine. But I’ll figure out revenge eventually.” He huffed, tugging Lance down a walkway, ears perking for any sign of what they were looking for… or.. his own answers.

“Oh I'm looking forward to it. Better be a real zinger or I’m going to be so disappointed in all my wasted anticipation.” Lance teased, squeezing Keith's hand, still working on the water pouch. 

Somewhere ahead of them, someone was talking excitedly about a knife, and the pull on Lance's arm was all the evidence he needed that his splotchy partner was interested in what was being said.

“Hey!” Lance huffed, talking around the straw between his teeth. “I can only go so fast right now!”

“Then I'll carry you” Keith huffed back, scooping Lance up into his arms, much to the gangly boy’s frustration. His feet propelled them forward, Lance greedily cradled against his chest as he went to investigate the knife sales person who was excitedly explaining the boons of his tools.

“He's a walking infomercial.” Lance whispered, accepting the fact that for now he was being cradled in Keith's arms--this was starting to become their Thing. Prices were suggested by the multi armed alien, which seemed to cause the crowd he gathered to lose interest. A shame. You could see the world through that lace thin plant stuff. Hunk would probably swoon too.

\--there seemed to have been some conversation that Lance missed because Keith was insisting he didn't want the blade the man was selling, but he did have questions the man might be able to answer, and all at once Lance's feet were on the ground and Keith was holding his blade out as Lance gripped his boyfriend's coat for balance.

“What can you tell me about this knife?”

A bad feeling settled its weight in Lance's guy at the eager look in the stranger’s eyes.

“Where did you get this?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really short chapter but I'm sure you don't mind after my impromptu hiatus. I hope.
> 
> Things have been _crazy_ in my life the last couple of months.
> 
> I've been having some mental health issues (I'm seeking help. Well. Trying to) and some general health issues... My immune system is shit because of some medicine I take to control my seizures, one of them has something I'm mildly allergic to in it but it's a choice between feeling kinda gross or super foggy. Not a hard choice to make imho.
> 
> But I forgot to get a flu shot. I got the flu. Then I got a cold that turned into an infection and I got flu like symptoms. I ran a fever for a good few weeks. I had a couple seizures. I lost more hearing, and my ears hurt _constantly_ , but that's life.
> 
> Right now it's almost 4 am. I'm supposed to be asleep but I guess that's not happening for a while. I'm going to work on the next chapter and see if I can get that done as soon as possible but I'm not going to push for it--you guys are so sweet in your patience with me and my situation. I really do appreciate that.
> 
> And your comments. Some of you guys are trying to guess the plot and I'm loving the theories. I guess if you read the comments you're just going to have to wait and see who's right ~o*
> 
> Anyway! I won't update till after Christmas, maybe not even to after New Year's, so if I don't:
> 
> Please have a safe and happy holidays, no matter what you celebrate! Take care of yourself, however much you feel you can! Step forward into the new year and do your best to try to leave the negativity behind. You're all great people and deserve a good start in 2018!
> 
> Until next time!! <3


	14. But how can you expect me not to eat, When the forbidden fruit tastes so sweet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Lauren Aquilina's "Sinners", go have a listen.

“So the headgear requires a solid connection to specific points on the scalp to allow for clear signalling between the brain and the equipment.” Pidge started, looking up at Hunk over the drink the smaller paladin had gotten somehow--probably ill gotten means. No one had actually given them any GAC.

“What are you getting at, Pidge” He added garnish to another plate, and pushed it down the line, eyeing his former schoolmate as he worked.

“I’m saying what if the uh. Condition. Being what it is, makes it difficult for the neuroreceptors to translate and transmit the nervous commands to the hardware, and. I don’t know. During a seizure the head gear’s air reciprocation system goes offline, or his facemask drops while we’re on a space walk. Or his pack shuts off mid fire and he gets stuck beh-”

“Ok gotta stop you there. Lance isn’t allowed to go on missions with us right now. He’s not stable and I doubt he’s going to get stable enough to go on missions with us in the near future. Plenty of time to do checks and rechecks and make sure there’s allowances for everyone having neuro connector issues before it even becomes a full blown issue.”

“Yeah but what about his?”

“What about it? We’re going to figure out how to get his seizures under control, eventually, and it’ll be fine. We probably won’t need any fancy work arounds when we manage it because between you, me, Coran, and the healing pods, we’re pretty much a dream team to fix anything that comes up in our crew.”

“Ok but what if he needs it if the castle gets attacked and the support systems get shut down from the outside. I think we should check it and make sure it’s not something we have to worry abou--”

“Gonna butt in again: first off, you’re trying to borrow trouble where you don’t need to. Nothing like that’s happened yet and we’ve been on a few missions with Lance since this happened. Secondly, I like my larynx being exactly where it is, so the idea of testing anything on Lance that doesn’t meet his, and by extension, Keith’s general agreeance and comfort levels, not gonna happen. Dude his claws look sharp and I bet it wouldn’t take much for him to take us out if he saw us as a threat to Lance. He snarled the first time someone tried to take lance away after that big one last week. Shiro almost lost a chunk of hand.” They both winced. “Best to not piss our Galra friend off, ok?”

“You’d be in trouble if he heard you referring to him as ‘Our Galra Frien-’”

“So this Lance guy, he’s sick?” The Galra Hunk was currently working for asked from across the line, passing on the food as Hunk finished it. “And he’s under the fierce protection of this Keith guy, who’s a galra?”

“Um… yes?”

“Brings him food, takes care of his needs, hovers around him? Croons?”

Pidge stared at the guy, then slowly nodded.

“Lemmy guess, raised away from any significant galra population, yeah?”

“Yeah, we’re all from the same uh… backwater planet? I don’t think there’s many galra back there. Keith’s the only one we know of from the planet and the only time we ever saw a galra ship was at the edge of our solar system so…”

“Yeah so it sounds like he doesn’t know shit about his instincts… I’d say give them congratulations on being mates but it sounds like he doesn’t know what the hell’s going on.” Sal snorted, passing another try on. “Unless they start getting lovey dovey and nesting, then if they deny shit they’re lying.”

The humans exchanged a look, then peered at Sal, wide eyed and baffled. 

“Figured they were dating-” 

“Or going to be-”

“But we didn’t think Mates or anything was going to come up…”

“I’m never wrong about this stuff. I got thirteen kids. You learn to recognize it.”  
\--  
“My mom left it for me” Keith growled, tightening his grip on the knife.

“A likely story. Luxite hasn’t been seen in decapheobs. It’s incredibly rare and incredibly expensive and you can’t get it from just anyone so what’s it doing with you?” The salesman reached for the knife, only to have his hand caught by a very unsteady Lance.

“Hey hey hey, you don’t touch another guy’s tool, dude. That’s just rude where we come from. Cultural significance. You might as well be propositioning him and uh. I called dibs already.” Good job, Lance!

“W. What?”

“Dude you’re basically trying to take my partner away by grabbing at his most valued family heirloom. Ease up a bit there. Look don’t touch. I get he’s handsome, I mean you have eyes, so I know you can tell, too” Lance winked, leaning more heavily on his very bewildered partner. “But I already called it and you JUST met him. Rude.”

Fur fluffed up everywhere on Keith as he retracted his knife and tucked it away, wrapping his arm around Lance. Anyone could probably tell he was blushing at this point. Especially after Lance’s hand found it’s way to his butt. He absolutely didn’t squeak. Nope.

“I uh. I didn’t know.” The salesman looked between the pair in bafflement, mouth flapping a couple of times before he worked himself back into composure. “I uh. Anyway, if… Y’know what you’re a cute couple so I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt: Unfortunately can’t tell you much about the blade. Just that the luxite mines don’t exist anymore. The whole planet was decimated a ways back. Hush hush says that the material was being used against the empire and the destruction was to stop the outward flow of it an’ try to shoot down the rebel’s moralle, but no one can figure out who the rebels were or what they were doing with it. Figure they’re pretty good if they’ve been operating so long an the public aint’ heard more than a couple words about it in back alleys. But you didn’ hear about this from me.”

“Wow. A whole planet?” Lance’s eyes widened and he gripped Keith a little tighter.

“Any survivors?” Keith rubbed a hand over Lance’s shoulder blades, attempting to ease the tension he knew was growing there. “Not because I want to ask them what they know” he did “But just. It’s really fucked up to take out a whole planet because of one mineral and one group misusing it.”

“You’d know, right? It’s your people what did it.” 

Horror stretched on Keith’s face. It was almost like it’d just dawned on him that he wasn’t actually human, and he was going to be recognized as such wherever they went. Worse; they’d known the Galra were doing cruel things, they’d seen it first hand, but the destruction of the luxite mines, and the planet they were on, seemed too cruel to consider, even for the Galra.

He was Galra. He was a member of that monstrous race. He hadn’t even taken a moment since discovering his origins to even consider the effects it was going to have on his life, on his interactions outside of the ship. If the look on this guy’s face (smug, snide, amusement with a side of disgust) was anything to go by, if the momentary glimpses of distrust on Allura’s face was anything to go by… Any number of species they’d run into since the change over. He felt the blood rushing from his face, and a whine rose out of his throat and nose as the ramifications started hitting him.

He was a galra. One of his parents was galra. How could Shiro continue to trust him? How was this going to effect the team? Were they really all okay with things as they currently were? Was Lance ok with this? Was Lance okay??

“I think you blew his mind. Thanks for the info, buddy, I’m gonna go walk the fluffy bee-eff and see if I can get him to hard restart.” Lance shoved at him. He could feel the resituation of Lance’s hands on his chest and side, urging him to turn and start forward, and he paused, turning his head to look down at his partner.

“Lance” His voice cracked in the middle of the now smaller boy’s name “I think I’m Galra.”

“... Have you been absent for the past few months? I’m pretty sure we already established that.”

“No but. What if--”

“Keith, ‘What If’ is a game I excel at and I can promise you beyond a shadow of a doubt that if you try to start it up I’m going to beat you at it. That’s an embarrassing thing to happen in the middle of a mall planet.” Lance gave him a flat look, nudging him forward insistently. “If you really have concerns you can ask everyone at dinner tonight. Now. We have a word to be our lead in charting out your origin story, Cal’el, so why don’t we just enjoy the rest of our time here. Take in the sights, make sure Pidge isn’t getting into trouble, find out what kind of decoration they use out here. Ooh! Malls this big sometimes have rides inside them to keep the kids occupied. Maybe there’s something like a merry-go-round??”

“What…?”

“... You know. Seats shaped like animals on poles that wind up and down as the base turns in a circular motion? OOH I bet it’s a triple decker! A place this size is bound to have a HUGE merry-go-round.”

“I’ve… I’ve never been on one.” Keith confessed, giving Lance an utterly lost, completely confused look.

Lance paused, staring dumbfoundedly up at his boyfriend. 

“Ok now if they don’t have one I’m going to be pissed. You’ve got to ride one. You’ve got to do it at least once in your life. Keith. It’s vital. If you can’t ride one out here in space--which should be some kind of universal illegal. Everywhere should have one-- you’re going to come back with me. We’re going to go to an amusement park. We’re going to ride the best and biggest one we can find…”

“Do. Do they have hippos on those things?”

“Hmm?” the bashful, quiet question made Lance tilt his head a bit to peer up at Keith in question.

“Hippos. You said they have animals. Do they have hippos?” 

“Yeah? I mean I think they do…”

“And you can ride the animals, right?”

“Yep!”

“... I could ride a hippo?” He sounded so hopeful, ears moving between laying back, and a timid, hopeful perk.

“... It might take some looking because they all have different animals but I’m pretty sure we can find you a hippo to ride.” Lance watched the fluffy purple auditory appendages pop up and a grin pull at Keith’s lips, and he found himself even more determined to get through this god awful war.

Not only was Keith going to ride a hippo on a merry go round, he was going to have as many goddamned hippo things as Lance could possibly find. If hippos made his stoic partner make that kind of face, he was going to take every opportunity to make sure it happened as often as possible.

‘Shit. I’m in love.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Picture this: A gangly, spotty Galra Keith riding around on an average sized merry go round hippo grinning like a dork with Lance riding the dolphin beside him looking utterly besotted. You're welcome. If you've just decided this is your goal, I'm right there with you.
> 
> I haven't gotten anything up almost on time in a long time, good job, me! Almost 2k words and I actually got the chance to address Keith's fuzzy little problem.
> 
> Also, I've had ONE seizure since the start of the new year, and that's a HUGE accomplishment for me since I usually have anywhere between five and ten by this time of month. And I only had the seizure because I managed to burn half my left hand. Pain responsive triggers. They suck but if that's all that happens this month or even between new years and the day I was born (as opposed to the day I got my official name) then that'll be my birthday present from the universe.
> 
> I love hearing from you guys. I have some messages idle in my inbox because things have been really crazy so I'm going to try to get through those asap. If you're interested in my art or helping support me so I can do more stuff like this, or my other interests, check out my tumblr. http://trickstersgambit.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Lance's condition is based on part of my own. The part that has medications that help the problem, and can be managed with that medication, but not squashed completely without major medical intervention that requires a ton of testing my medical won't cover, but Lance's did, in ways that are currently only highly experimental and hugely wishful thinking, right now.
> 
> I'm epileptic (and autistic). I wasn't diagnosed or treated until I was an adult and unfortunately the 20+ years with no treatment, or inadequate treatment, left me with a lot of nerve damage and a lot of mobility and coordination challenge that I've had to fight for years. I'm going to foist the weight of my problems onto Lance in this fic and use him as a vent source (I'm only a little sorry), especially while I recover from spraining my dominant wrist. I draw for a living, generally, so I'm on vacation from that while I recover.
> 
> Chapters will be longer than this one, generally. This is unbeta'd. I know I have other fics to work on, but my data for that is on another computer that isn't exactly working correctly right now. Comments, questions and crit are welcome. If you see an error or a word that doesn't look right, let me know. I'm typing on my phone so its going to be wonky.
> 
> Curious parties can find my art at [my tumblr](http://trickstersgambit.tumblr.com/tagged/teej_art).


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